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Events | Administration | Members | Records | Previous SeasonsWeekly Reports: Season 2021–22 Your report fast track . . . End of Year Awards It sets the standard for end-of-season presentations and celebrations – Walker's Windup. Max and Walks are the perfect hosts in a grand setting and, today, 6 bodies were privileged to enjoy their generous hospitality. Snags, onions and 3 sauce choices were wrapped up in crunchy rolls followed by watermelon and grapes and washed down with beer (that Iron jack's a good brew) or water accompanied by tall golfing tales but true (apparently).
The President then took the stand (seated), donned his other hat, and delivered the Handicappers Summary of the year's activities. There were several club firsts which included a cancelled round on November 8 due to lightning (but plan B was coffee at the McLennans); birthday celebrations at the McLennans after golf on November 30th; A first ever South of the River game at Melville Glades hosted by Jacko. But before the presentation of the season awards, another very important presentation ensued . . .
And during the presentation of the awards another presentation took place. Ronzo had experienced the dark side of COVID unable to return home from Victoria as planned, so he donned the mantle of country Victoria chicken man for a couple of months before returning home devoid of golf, isolating and stepping out to play a pearler of game to blitz the Club Championship. The presentation will hopefully be a fond reminder of that unusual but memorable time and achievement.
Another eventful but highly successful and enjoyable season had come to a fantastic conclusion, all except presentation of the . . . Major Trophies and Season Awards It was Major Trophy presentations with a twist. The Social guy had a surprise in store as three tables were laid out, trophies distributed across them and strange little blanked off frames placed on each. "With two characters monopolising the Awards this season, I decided to do the presentations a bit differently to save time". It went something like this . . . With SIX Major trophies and awards (Jacko's Lot): Chris Jackson
With THREE Major trophies and awards (Walk's Lot): Graham Walker
And then came The Rest – but a quality Rest . . . .
Tuesday, March 15, 2022 Jacko and Macca report . . .Five players assembled prior to the game so Litts took one for the (sake of) teams and disappeared to familial duties for the morning. Initially directed to Lake and Pines, this was changed to Pine/Island until a large group claimed ownership of that tee and we were eventually directed to Island/Pines. Getting there was problematic for the Jacko/Macca team with a cart which showed a marked reluctance to leave the Pines tee. Once the secret foot-shake was elicited from the pro-shop, the cart started and they rejoined the Ron and Walks team on the Island tee. Four starters, probably a record low, for the Golf but thankfully seven members turned up later at Walkers' for the end of year presentations. As usual, a perfect day for golf at Collier. The format was 4BBB and the teams were balanced on handicaps - low handicapper Jacko with high handicapper Macca versus Ronzo and Walks. The first nine found Ronzo and Walks struggling a little with the concept of team play, not quite gelling on three holes, managing two wipes and a one-pointer. They accumulated a total of 16 points at the turn from one par and two bogeys. The lopsided duo of Jacko and Macca were only outscored on the ninth hole, despite their buggy digging in its heels and refusing to go further than the 3rd green. With a replacement which was more in tune with the team spirit, they combined well to put together a healthy 23 points from three pars, four bogeys and two doubles. Jacko took NTP at the signature Island hole and pipped Walks by the proverbial bee’s appendage for LD at the ninth.
The crowded podium had Jacko and Macca on top with 43 points and runners-up, Ronzo and Walks, on 37. The foursome enjoyed the format and the game and happily adjourned to the Walkers' for the final event of season 2021-22. Round Results:
Tuesday, March 8, 2022 Jacko reports . . .It was Araluen, it was “Not the Burswood”, it was a major (aren’t they all these days?) and it was the final points accumulator of the 21-22 season. There were eight starters, or so we thought. Five minutes to tee-off time and no sign of Macca. A hurried phone call went to voice mail but was returned almost immediately with Macca asking “where am I Jacko?” (or words to that effect). A crash course in map reading ensued with Macca arriving five minutes later (the GBWGC boys graciously allowed two groups to hit off before them). The first group of Ronzo and his mate Peter Crow, and Jacko and Squancey headed for the first tee. On this occasion, Ron (aka leadfoot) didn’t even make it to the first tee, let alone the first bunker, with acceleration up the path seeing the back section of his cart, with clubs attached, part ways with the main body. Take 2. The first group of Jacko and Squancey, and Pinky and Walks headed for the first tee while Ron got another buggy (déjà vu?).
In the second group, Ron had obviously recovered from his traumatic experience, with a string of 2s and 1s before his first wipe at eight, but a 3 point bogey at the scary ninth gave him 15. Tom hadn’t seen the course before and with two wipes, five 1 pointers and 2 pars for 12 points, wasn’t sure that he wanted to see it again. Macca’s adrenalin was still coursing from his mad dash through the streets of Roleystone, which may help to explain his three wipes, three triple bogeys and three doubles for 9. Peter’s nerves were presumably a little on edge (nobody warned him about Ron’s history with carts) and he wiped four holes to match Macca’s 9 points with an LD at the ninth hole giving some consolation. Most of the players seemed to find the back nine a little easier to score on (or maybe they managed to shake off the cobwebs through the front nine). Jacko opened with two pars before a wipe at thirteen knocked him back to square, but pars at fourteen and sixteen helped him to 18 for the nine. Pinky wiped twelve but 3 points at thirteen and fifteen added to predominately 2 pointers over the rest gave him 17 points. Squancey made par at fifteen but a couple of wipe and a string of 1s resulted in another 11, although he picked up another ball for LD at the fourteenth. Walks struggled over the nine and even a 4 point par at fifteen (after draining a 13 metre putt) couldn’t get him past 9 points. Tom revised his opinion of the course after pars at fourteen and sixteen helped him to 17 points for the nine. Peter’s nerves had recovered and with 10 points after three holes, he also posted 17 points even with three wipes. Macca too had settled after his early misadventures and a 4 point par at the signature sixteenth, including an NTP, helped him to 16 points. Ronzo was a picture of consistency, wiping the eleventh but scoring every other hole on his way to another 15 points.
The day was won by Jacko with 35. Pinky took second place with 31 points and the final place on the podium went to Ron with 30 points. Tom and Macca made Walks’ job extremely difficult by inverting their names on the cards, resulting in a prolonged discourse as to which score belonged to which player before results could be declared – Tom made fourth with 29. Walks was very pleased that there were no countbacks for him to work out, but this was before the “fifth hole adjustment” which nudged him out of fifth place on a countback to Peter, both on 26. Macca on 25 and Squancey on 22 made up the remaining places.
Tuesday, March 1, 2022
The traditional ball toss had Walks leading off with Pinky, Ronzo and Squancey. Brian opened with three bogeys and a double for 9 points, but a wipe followed by a couple of 1s reset his expectations although they were resurrected by 5 points over the closing two holes for 16. Ronzo was coming fresh from two great sub-par rounds and was going for a threepeat but his reduced handicap gave him just 1 point at the opening hole and he was playing catch-up from then on. Four 2 point holes kept him thereabouts but another single and a wipe meant his 5 points over the closing two holes left him 1 adrift of Pinky on 15. Squancey had been showing form over recent weeks and expectations were high but despite scoring every hole and making a 4 point par at the last (after an LD), he could only manage 14. Walks lost a stroke after the CC and he struggled to get started and a couple of wipes kept him to a 12 point total.
The second group of Macca, Litts, Tom and Jacko fared little better. Jacko was looking good with 12 points after five holes but he too succumbed to the dreaded wipe before closing bogeys helped him to 18. Macca started 1,2,4 and expectations were high for 8 points at the next (with his handicap a double bogey probably would have done it J) but a couple of 1 point holes midterm and a wipe at the last left him with just 15 points. Litts was getting his club onto the ball and giving himself chances, but his silky smooth putts weren’t finding the hole, and a wipe at the second hole followed by a string of 1s and 2s yielded just 14 points. Then came Tom - two wipes to start before an NTP for 2 points gave him some hope, but even with a surprise five for 3 at fifteen (a surprise because it wasn’t discovered until the auditor did a preliminary check before writing this report J) he maxed out at 13.
Dalbs joined us for the walk on seventeen and stayed on for coffee, last seen gathering a bag of balls and heading for the putting green to practise the “claw” grip. Round Results:
Tuesday, February 22, 2022 Farmer Ron reports . . .
To the 10th tee the fabulous five gathered to play a fivesome, only to be thwarted by others who also started on the 10th.
Chris and Walks had us in front of them and two twos behind, totally ending our hope of a fabulous five finish. Chris, with 43 off the stick, had four pars along the way, but said he wasn’t playing well enough to win. He mentioned he obviously wasn’t playing enough golf each week, devoting Thursdays and weekends to things other than golf. Walks started with a bang … parred the 1st, birdied the 3rd (and didn’t win the NTP), but squeezed an eight in between … drove like Walks of old … he too was obviously distracted. He told us later at coffee that someone else other than he was using his credit card … that would distract any of us.
Back to coffee … it was good to have Robin join us again for a warm beverage after the game. His hands are still not strong enough to strangle a golf club, putter excluded. While on the subject of health, best wishes to Deno with his shortness of breath … get it sorted!! And on a really positive note, Squancey does not need to see his “witch doctor” for at least three years. Footnote – any correspondence from the President and P.I.T. will NOT be entered into!
Round Results:
Tuesday, February 15, 2022 Farmer Ron reports . . .
What an honour to be back in the fine State of WA … what an honour to be back with the GBW Team (only players not on the scorecard today … Bin – Steve – Deno). What an honour to be in the same group as the President AND the P.I.T … “sort of” … and of course what an honour to have won both the golf and the write to pen this report. And last, but by all means not least, what an honour to have Robin join us on the last hole, which led to our morning cuppa! Amazed by 11.09am on the morning of Tuesday, 15th February the President had the results on the internet … sorry the scribe was a bit slower. The leading group of Chris, Brian, Macca and Walks blasted off the first tee with a great deal of gusto. All that I could glean from this group was, firstly from Brian who observed they played the entire nine without the sun bothering them. The second comment was from Chris, who said they spent an “awful” lot of time in the rough and amongst the trees. It was noted Walks was last to arrive in the car park, but first to hit off on the tee. Macca did his usual magnificent best in arranging my golf cart at a discount and ensuring we hit off first … well done Macca!
The second group was summed up perfectly by Tom … he said we were playing “pensive” golf … this was in answer to my question to him if I had missed a “special AGM” that said we had to change the way we behaved instead of being ”C.O.T.” (completely over the top). Squancey never spoke to Jesus once … he did let out a murmur after his tee shot on the fifth. Tom asked after the sixth … “how many holes to go” … the President laughed and said yeah!! That was after he and Ron played each other’s ball on the sixth … yes-yes-yes … penalties were taken. The President played his “pong” game today, obviously leaving all his “ping” somewhere else. This is an oldie but a goodie … at the end of the game he said “well, that was fun”.
Back to Tom … he was as usual keen to show of his “king cobra”, as shown in the pic. Also amongst the pics . . . “the Pres” watching the “P.I.T.” who was approaching the “mangled” NTP flag courtesy of Walks who destroyed the marker . . . and his attempt at the birdie.
Leaderboard at Halfway: Results to be officially recorded:
Tuesday, February 8, 2022 Litts reports . . . “So the last shall be first, and the first last”Six starters on Tuesday. Of the regulars Pinky is still carrying an injury and Scobes was needed at home. The morning was cool but not cold and therefore a number of jumpers or vests were shed after a few holes. It was still pretty dark at five thirty noting that Sunrise was due at 5.47am. It was difficult to pick up the ball flight off the tee in the first couple of holes. Quite a bit of work was and is being done on course as reported recently. Some of the holes were shortened but most of the effect was noticed on the greens. They were very slow and sand and fertiliser were evident. The greenkeepers were doing their thing and play was a little slow as a result. Jacko and Squancey hit off in the first group as they were competing for the match play title. They were joined by the Captain in his role as match umpire. Hereafter this group will be referred to as the B team. The A team followed on with Tom, Macca and The little One swapping cards. As it happened all three ended up on the podium. The Little one had a good round soured by some pretty ordinary short putting. It was almost the return game he was hoping for. In the end it wasn’t but it should be noted that it was his first win of the year. Match Play: The match was pretty even after five holes with Squancey holding a one-up lead. The next three holes were his undoing. He was still in it up to the penultimate hole as Jacko had a one hole lead and scored a double bogey. Squancey just Round Results:
Tuesday, February 1, 2022 Squancey reports that . . . The Dirty Dozen minus 5 (Macca, Tom, Squancey, Chris, Scobes, Walks and Litts) arrive at Hamersley on time with car headlights beaming. It is progressively getting dark and those who did not have a good day could say that they had difficulty seeing their ball. It was a chance to relax after the rigours of Joondalup and most today did just that with only 2 of 7 playing to par or better and an average Stableford score of 16 points. Today’s winning trio were last week’s winning trio with a slight shuffle in the order, the inform Squancey leapfrogging into first for his second season win . . . and no closing fade! The Pace Cracker continues his podium appearances, a fast start helping to negate a closing wipe, while the Little Master notched his 4th placing in just 8 starts despite 2 wipes over the closing holes. Squanceys driver was working for him today winning the longest drive and making the fairway on 8 occasions. He scored on all holes, not like last week where he wiped the last 3 holes. He played to his handicap on 5 holes, better than handicap on 3 holes and scored 1 on the 15th where his drive missed the fairway. Macca is working hard to keep his handicap in place for the Mandurah Masters despite picking up 3, 3 pointers. He ended the day on 18 points, enough to place him second and not enough to affect his handicap. We fear that he threw the anchor out on one occasion. Tom was having a good day, picking up nearest to the pin, but 2 wipes put a dent in his score card. It was a day of up and downs for a lot with Tom also picking up 3 pointers. Chris scored on all holes also and would have had a better outing if his customary short iron game was in play. He was very frustrated with hitting his wedges over the back of the greens. No holes better than handicap for Chris which is unusual. Maybe his is trying to manipulate his handicap for the Matchplay payoff with Squancey. Scobes and Walks were having a similar day. Scobes started by wiping the 1st hole while Walks reciprocated by wiping the final giving them both 14 points. Litts was another with 14 points and having a good day amassing 11 points by the 5th hole but only managing 3 for the last 4 holes, which gave him NAGA on a count forward. Round Results:
Tuesday, January 25, 2022 Macca reports . . .Last year it was Jacko 34, Litts 33 and Tom 33 on countback with Squancey NAGA. The same four were up for the title in 2022, together with Brian, Walks and Macca. After a fumbling with vouchers, cash and cards to start, three Grahams and a Tom started off on the Lakes course followed by Jacko, Brian and Macca. Coolish weather for a change, more overcast than expected for a lot of the front nine. The Lakes course had Tom and Squancey on 18 points, Litts and Macca on 17, with the rest on 14 and 15. The testing Quarry second nine was won by Macca on 18, Tom and Squancey had 15, Litts and Walks 14, while Brian had 11 and Jacko scored 5 after sending shots into each of the quarries! It was a game of wiped holes as usual for Joondalup. Brian was the steadiest with just one wipe; Tom had two; Squancey and Litts had three; Jacko and Macca had four, while Walks had five. Macca, with a 34 handicap, won the event with 35 points and Jacko the NAGA on 19 points playing off a 14 handicap. A rough reworking of the scores assuming all players had a 22 handicap gives a significantly different set of numbers: Squancey and Tom led on 33; Litts gets 31; Walks 28; Jacko about 26; Brian and Macca 22. Nevertheless, Macca gratefully accepted first place. Tom beat Squancey into second place after a countback but not before a heap a hollerin' from Squancey over the final three holes that sadly failed to produce a point after 15 good holes that saw him just 14 shots over par. Macca joins Squancey, Pinky and Nae in winning the Classic twice. Novelties had Tom playing a great shot on the 3rd for the front nine NTP, and Squancey won the Long Drive. Squancey made it a double by getting within three metres on the tricky third hole over the quarry and Jacko beat two others to win the second Long Drive. It is noteworthy there were just 11 pars and one birdie on the day: Walks managed to hit three (rueing his four wipes); Tom, Litts and Squancey had two each (with Squancey also plucking a birdie) and Jacko and Macca one each. All appeared to enjoy the challenges of the course, extolled by Ronzo as the best public access course in WA. And, as Tom noted, it was the most un-Joondalup Classic weather – terrific! Round Results:
Tuesday, January 18, 2022 Little Master reports . . . A very pithy summary below as I don't have time to do this shit!! Eight starters and all eight started! [And some observations from a distance . . . (Ed) . . . The Little Master played more to his ability (including pars on both par 3s) cushioned by an inflated handicap and pleased to be playing more regularly and on the winners list. Squancey was hot (3 pars, 4 bogeys for 8 over) especially with the putter – just 13 putts, including zip on the par 3 16th, a 9 putt turnaround from the previous week! Pinky's back on the podium after a big 8 stroke turnaround from last week and it might have been 10! But the putter blew a foofer valve on the 15th for a 4-putt. A one stroke faster finish saw him pip Scobes who was doing the bogey/double/bogey/double dance for most of the round Jacko turned in a short game feast – and 3 pars to boot – to claim consecutive Golden Putter wins. His 4 one-putt holes and no three-putts sealed the deal. Litts was probably cursing his luck. He charged out of the blocks to be just 3 shots over after 5 holes! The run home was a rough trip, going 9 over for the last 4 holes. He should get to bed earlier! Both Macca and Walks were somewhat in the horrors. Apart from bogey on the 1st, Macca lapsed into a double/triple foxtrot while Walks's "start slow, finish strong" pattern went AWOL after 2 pars over the first three holes, finishing with a spattering of doubles/triples.] Round Results:
Tuesday, January 11, 2022 Walks reports . . . It was the round 1 of the Golden Putter played on the front 9 of Hamersley and the format was stroke. 6 players fronted up for event. Weather was perfect. Turned out that the greens had be lightly cored, however, this was not an issue of any great concern. Firstly, to summarise the stroke scores: In a hilarious incident, Pinky let his powered buggy off the leash at about 80 metres from the green on the par 5, 3rd hole. As he was sizing up his approach, his buggy crept forward without him noticing it. When he did realize the situation, the buggy was a good 40 metres in front of him and trundling towards the green. Pinky, and Jacko who saw the drama unfolding, started to chase down the buggy but their legs were never going to win the race to the green. The buggy slowed down in the rough to the side of the green and was eventually captured and brought under control. The second group was Tom, Litts and Walks. Secondly, to summarise the Golden Putter. Round Results:
Tuesday, January 4, 2022 Jovial Jacko reports . . . Tuesday morning at 5:15 there were 8 in the carpark for 2 tee slots for 7 players with an outsider thrown into the mix by the course management. Despite all entreaties to the Wembley staff to accommodate our eighth, they refused to budge so our booker fell on his sword and went back home to bed, mumbling something about reservations that he could make it through the rolling hills of the Tuart course. The modified groups then played the eighteen holes behind 2 groups of 2 and in front of a group of 2 and a group of 3 - so much for "fully booked". First group was Walks and Squancey with President For Life Litts in the official motorcade, chauffeured by his loyal sidekick and President-In-Waiting, The Little Master (or The Little Apprentice in this case). Walks and Squancey slugged it out with each posting four 2 point holes and a 3 point par through the first 5 holes before taking different tracks to score another 6 and each turn with 17 points, Walks taking LD at the eighth in the process. While both made 3 pars for 10 points on the back nine and Squancey wiped a couple of holes, Walks only managed to match his front nine for 34 (according to records and totals by an accountant and a statistician The second group was Pinky, Scobes, Jacko and the ringin. Jacko started 1,2,4 (NTP and birdie at the par 3) and was calculating what he needed for an 8 to keep the geometric sequence going, but was brought back to reality with a par and a double before settling with 2 pars and 2 bogeys for 21. Only 2 pars on the back nine but scores on every hole gave him 18 for 39. Scobes started like a train with 6 points after 2 holes but the stoker jumped off and he trundled into the turn with 17 points. A 4 point par at the long downhill par 5 fifteenth had him on 14 and an LD win at the next was looking promising until he wiped and made 3 points over the closing holes for a pair of 17s. Pinky probably spent a little more time checking out treelines and smoothing bunkers than he would have liked, but he still managed to string together 15 points for the first nine. This served as a springboard to the second nine and after opening with a par, he accumulated 12 points after 5 holes. Two wipes threatened to derail his score, but a 4 point par at seventeen and a bogey at the last got him to 18 for a total of 33. With 3 players on 34, the dreaded countdown was needed to fill third place. This was initially awarded to Scobes but a subsequent audit decided he wasn't worthy and promoted PFL Litts in his place.
Following the golf, all combatants plus Macca went to Tom's for a sensational brunch of samosas, arancini balls, wraps with various meats, cheeses and pickles, and a fruit platter and coffees all put together by Reggie and beers and soft drinks chilled to perfection by Tom - a huge thank-you for the hospitality.
Round Results: Where's Ronzo? Our COVID captive is happily ensconced on a family farm a couple of hundred kms north of Melbourne, happily removed from the virus spreading in the capital city. And he seems to have picked up the farmer's life to a tee!
Tuesday, December 28, 2021 Macca reports . . . with a Little starter . . .
To quote Jane Austin: "What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance." The course was fine, the company even finer, but the weather let us down. 39° forecast and probably reached, though the occasional zephyr, apparently from the North-East, gave a little relief to perspiring bodies. Let's not start with the golf scores - we are more interested in our fellows' health and welfare! A check on those who chose not to complete the round indicates all are expecting to play next week. Litts and Tom completed nine holes and Brian withdrew after a dozen. The NAGA, Macca, maybe should have withdrawn. The three golfers, Walks, Squancy and Jacko, had similar rounds and any one of them could have ended up on top. Jacko, coming off a practice round of 81 off the stick was the early favourite, despite his 18 handicap. Walks had to drive more than a thousand kms just to get there, and get there he did! He scored 16 on each nine, including two pars and two wipes in a solid round. Squancey came back from some recent NAGAs scoring 17 on the first nine and 14 on the second. He had a couple of wipes and three pars. Jacko squeezed past The Squance on a countback with one wipe and three pars. Macca, with two pars and four wipes guaranteed himself fourth place (NAGA). Presentation formalities, with the President in attendance to pick up his NTP and LD from his 19-point first nine, were conducted over squashes in the room now known as the Christopher Jackson Lounge at Melville Glades. Jacko again pipped Squancey by a metre on the second LD with Walks just another metre behind.
Many thanks to Jacko for sharing his delightful course with us! Round Results:
Tuesday, December 21, 2021 Scobes the Scribe reports . . .Arguably the most important and prestigious trophy on the GBWGC calendar. It represents all that is special about the GBWGC – unpretentious yet inspiring; worthless yet beyond value. There was a full house except for the unfortunately detained Ron, currently inactive (golf wise) platinum sponsor Steve and incapacitated Dalbs. Perfect conditions and everyone on time and ready to do battle. Wembley has proven to be a little less testing than Hamersley over the years, so the expectation was that a score of well north of 20 points would be required for victory. The first group followed a group of two who snuck in front of us (clearly not realizing the import of the impending contest). The star of the group was the ever improving Walks, who carded a score which could have been a winner in many previous Xmas Cup events. Except for the 18th, which proved to be a struggle for the whole group, Walks was consistent around the greens and snared a birdie on the par 5 11th, highlighted by a lengthy putt. Pars on 15, 16 and 17 kept the juices flowing. Macca was not the paragon of consistency that we have come to expect in recent times with some struggles off the tee. He even came dressed in in his “Hamersley” dark blue – we are all getting old. Litts, by his own assessment, didn’t play well. Clean hits were a rarity, though a nice par putt on the 15th may get him back next week. Other than reports of an effective fancy backwards chip on the 15th, there is little specific information available about Jacko’s round. Suffice to say that he didn’t beat one home. The second group contained only one Graham, always a bonus; and that G started atrociously with a topped drive and a visit to a bunker. Not looking too promising. We should have known better as a 5/2 was salvaged. Then followed eight holes of good, solid, tough golf with mostly 2 pointers and a couple of 3’s thrown in. Tom threatened to make NAGA his own in the early going, but his opening pair of 1 pointers soon blossomed to string of 2’s and 3’s and even a birdie on 16 for 4 points.
Though a convivial bacon and egg roll breakfast was enjoyed, the absence of Ron left a gaping hole in the usual Xmassy feel of the event. Not a Santa hat in sight. Come back soon Ronzo!
Footnote:
Tuesday, December 14, 2021 Journalist Jacko reports . . . The north of the river arctic squalls of recent weeks were in abeyance making for pleasant conditions for that favourite event of Ron’s, the par bisque. Ron wasn’t there but the usual suspects were. In what was basically a re-run of the previous week’s ball toss, Litts, Walks and Pinky hit the tee first followed by Macca, Squancey and Jacko with Scobes thrown into the mix. The re-measurement of the course may not make the holes seem longer, but planting the tee for the eleventh in the middle of the Karrinyup Bus Depot has made the first shot on that hole a bigger challenge. On the up-side, there may not be so many drives disappearing into the nursery (but there may be a few more second shots). The first group started slowly with all three wiping the first hole – a reflection of the lower handicaps and a reluctance to use too many precious strokes too early. From there Litts and Walks engaged in a slugfest, going blow for blow with two pluses and a wipe over the next three holes. Litts then settled to be plus 2 after eight before a wipe at the last left him on plus1. Walks briefly got his nose in front with a plus at fourteen but he too converted a plus 2 to a plus 1 on the last hole. Pinky was struggling with more wipes than pluses but he finished strongly with 2 pluses to end up square, and without Jacko there to bamboozle him with fuzzy logic, he staked a claim to longest drive. Meanwhile Macca was doing what Macca does best, making judicious use of his handicap to reel off a succession of pluses, marred only by wipes at both par 3s and the last where he had insufficient strokes left to avoid another wipe, finishing with plus 3. Scobes took the road less travelled but kept finding the green and using his astronomical handicap to ensure a score of sorts on all but two holes, coming with plus 1. The highlight of his round was a sweet tee shot to pin high on the sixteenth green to take NTP from Jacko after their NTP attempts at twelve were inconclusive at ten paces. Jacko was finding pars hard to come by and had used all of his strokes after six holes to be plus 3 but his fortunes didn’t improve in the run home and he finished square. Squancey is on a run which he was desperate to end but finding himself square after eight holes with no shots in hand, he took the prize for another week with minus 1. As a footnote to this write-up, were it to be known in wider circles that five of our number came in with excess strokes, three of whom committed the cardinal sin of scoring one or more halves with strokes in hand, all and any reference to the word “statistician” in their titles would be stripped forthwith!
Round Results:
Tuesday, December 7, 2021 From the quill of the conqueror . . . It was the President’s Cup. Six starters fronted up on another perfect morning. The President, Pinky and Walks led off with 3 ‘nice’ tee shots, indicating it was going to be good tussle. Both Pinky and Walks made three pointer pars while the Pres was still warming up. Walks then faltered with with a wipe on the 11th, but subsequently played very tidily to bogey the next 7 holes, scoring another 4 three pointers and 3 two pointers for an overall 21 points. Both Pinky and the Pres played on consistently and scored on every hole. Pinky followed up his par with 5 bogeys, 2 doubles and a triple for an overall 19 points. Pres got 2 three pointer pars, 3 two pointer bogeys and 4 doubles for an overall 18 points. In the second group it appeared to be an unfair contest - South of the river golfers Squancey and Jacko versus aged trier Macca. For holes 10 through 14 the opposite was unaccountably true. Squancey and Jacko scrambled for just six points each with Jacko wiping a hole and spending some time in the rough. Squancey had a couple of wipes and spent even more time in the bush. Macca played steadily for 11 points. Reality set in for the remaining four holes with Jacko scoring a nearest the pin and a neat birdie on the 16th for a four pointer, plus three two-pointers and his overall 16 points looked like a possible podium finish. Squancey added another wipe but had a par on the 16th and a brace of two-pointers for an uncharacteristic 13 points. Macca had a wipe, a two and a couple of ones to finish one behind Jacko on 15 points. It was a tough day at the office for Squancey and he was rewarded with a bar to his NAGA of the previous week. Jacko had a nice drive on the 18th to win the LD for the fifth time this season. The first group of Walks, Pinky and Litts made up the podium in an exciting finish to the President's Cup.
Round Results:
Tuesday, November 30, 2021 Jacko and Walks report . . .The sun was peeking through the clouds but a cool breeze kept outer layers on for most of the round. A surprise (to some) appearance was made by the President In Waiting after hearing that there was free food at Macca’s following the game. Eight starters made for two groups of four with Scobes, Macca, Pinky and Jacko carving the way for Walks, Squancey, Litts and TLM. It was Macca’s birthday week and he was having a birthday on the course, starting with three 3 pointers which culminated in an NTP at the par three. His steely resolve wavered a little over the next two with double bogeys but good recovery shots over the next two and solid doubles at the last two gave him 22 points. Pinky wasted a big drive at the first but a super chip from the bush which cannoned into the pin saw him recover for a bogey. He had mixed fortunes over the next three holes, taking 8 points to the par five where a bout of bush-bashing brought him back to earth with a wipe. This was apparently the kick-start he needed and he scored three 3 pointers over the closing holes to finish with 19. Jacko was aiming for a threepeat and a par at the first hole had him thinking it was in the bag. However subsequent pars proved hard to come by and he managed just one more at the second par five, and a wipe at the next restricted him to 17 points at the end. After a lengthy discussion covering Euclidean Geometry, Trigonometry and Pythagorean Theorems, Jacko also claimed the LD candidate (and eventual winner) from Pinky. Scobes has spent years as the handicapper and some of that time he was probably also a “high” handicapper but never at the start of a golf game. He was determined to capitalise on this advantage but an opening 3 points followed by four 2s was soured by a wipe at the next. A 4 point par got him back on track but two triple bogeys to finish set his aspirations back another week after a 17 point round. Tom may not have played much golf lately but he had an early highlight with a birdie on the first hole. Left himself about 20 metres short of the green with his second shot but then did the most beautiful chip shot that bounced once on the green and then plopped into the hole for a 4 pointer start. He played consistently for the rest of the day, scoring on every hole, to finish with 20 points. Litts put in another solid performance. He is hitting his drives with confidence and there was a couple of rippers. He had 3 pars in the first 4 holes (all 3 pointers) and then finished with 2 more 3 point bogeys on the last 2 holes, to finish with 21 points. Walks and Squancey vied all day for the NAGA. Each had 4 one pointers and a wipe and there was nothing worthy of note. Walks finished on 13 points and Squancey on 12 points.
Immediately following the game, it was back to Macca’s for a delicious (belated) big birthday breakfast of juice, croissants, coffee and fruit, graciously prepped by Jeannie while Macca was wrapping up his win at Hamersley. Unfortunately his co-celebrant (Scobes) had higher duties and couldn’t join the celebrations.
Tuesday, November 23, 2021 Jacko and Macca report . . .The day started with a ruckus in the carpark, with Pinky complaining about the inequities of the handicapping system, and in an incredibly humble admission of error, the handicapper took an extra stroke off Jacko. The morning started cool but soon morphed into perfect Spring conditions with warm sun chasing us down the fairways (or through the trees in some cases) – Macca finally got it right. In a somewhat prophetic grouping - ‘the last shall be first...’ - Walks, Pinky and Macca went off first, with Litts, Squancey and Jacko in the final slot. A number of the fairways were a little wider with overhanging trees pruned back, but members of the first group were apparently not satisfied with the extent of pruning and were on a mission to knock a few more over. The so-called lead group all drove well off the 10th tee with Walks and Pinky finishing with bogeys; Macca, with an extra stroke on the 10th, managed three tree ricochets and hit a foreign ball (claiming it had his red crosses) and picked up after seven strokes. Things improved for Macca on the 11th with a four pointer while trees interfered with Walks’ and Pinky’s progress for one and two points, evening up the scoring. Eventual NAGA Walks was slightly off on a number of his characteristic whopper drives and to quote The Phantom himself “nothing is working for me today...” His 11 points included no pars, two wipes and a few injured trees. Pinky could have featured on the podium with 15 points after seven holes but with a one pointer and a wipe to finish he still led the group with a 16 point aggregate. Brian’s characteristic short putts did not help! The long drive 18th left Walks and Pinky bemused with both saving their least effective drives (and second third, and fourth... shots) until the last hole. Macca drove a little longer than usual but with one par, two wipes and a selection of ill-considered shots he scraped together 15 points. Jacko was out of the blocks with par at the 10th but failing to use any part of the fairway at the next gave him a double bogey. Another par (from an NTP winner) was followed by another double before three pars got him back in front of the card and he closed with bogeys for a creditable 21. Litts started with a wipe but hit a sweet drive at the next. However his humility got the better of him, refusing to believe that his drive would have gone further than Squancey’s and hitting the wrong ball as a result, then picking up in disgust. This was the turning point and what followed was an exercise in course management, hitting fairways, well thought out recovery shots and controlled putting to post 19 points over the remaining seven holes with pars at 14 and 16 and LD at the last (to prove it wasn’t a fluke on 11). Squancey opened with a bogey but he too fell victim to the Graham Little Jedi mind trick, hitting the wrong ball and incurring a penalty stroke. Pars at the next two holes put his nose in front with 10 points, but then his usually reliable putting stroke deserted him and he crashed to 15 after eight holes, before a superb recovery on the last gave him a four for four (as Norman May might say) and he finished on 19. All agreed the greens and fairways were in great condition though a rogue greenkeeper did his best to slow us down by cavorting on the 11th green. We still completed the nine holes in just over 90 minutes. Congratulations to a rampant Jacko who overcame late handicap adjustments to record a creditable victory!
Round Results:
Tuesday, November 16, 2021
Macca and Squancey report . . . The club's senior trio of Ronzo, Pinky and Macca were sent off first, no doubt out of respect? The four juniors made up the second group battling out Match Play games with Jacko versus Litts and Squancey versus Walks. The elder groups notched 48 strokes each for Ronzo and Pinky, and 49 for Macca. Ronzo and Macca started off with worm-burners and Pinky played his usual lofty game. The four juniors (Squancey, Walks, Chris and Litts) referred to by Macca had scores of (48,48,40 and Litts 43 plus 2 holes were wiped with no score being recorded). Ronzo relished the excellent conditions and with Par scores of six plusses, two zeroes and just one minus scored a brilliant +5. He was very consistent, won the NTP, though missing the four foot birdie putt, and is getting his Master Blaster status back with some good drives. Pinky looked great on four holes with four pars off the stick, three bogeys, but two blow-up holes where wayward drives convinced him to play on neighbouring fairways. He scored four pluses, two halves and three minuses for +1. Macca had five pluses, one zero, and three minuses for +2, warming to the task and hitting a few longer (for him) drives and seemed happy with his short game. Overall the seniors putted quite well on the quite consistent and very manicured greens.
MATCH PLAY. As Macca had mentioned Match Play was in the forefront of all 2nd group's minds. The competitiveness was evident on the first hole with a 4 and 3 five pointers being registered. Presumably the second group concentrated more on their Match Play games with only Jacko ending on the the podium albeit as the overall winner for the day. He won on count back from Ronzo with Macca a distant third.
Tuesday, November 9, 2021 Great bolts of lightening!
Wednesday, November 3, 2021
Round Results:
Tuesday, October 26, 2021 Macca reports . . . A Met. Bureau forecast, for the so-called 'Spring' Classic, of 100% chance of rain, not much wind, but the possibility of hail had the most redoubtable statisticians nervous. Regardless, five statisticians and one Squance were ready to play at Royal Wembley before 5:40am. In unexpectedly fair weather the six golfers were split between Team Walker, with Scoble and McLennan and Team Jackson, with Squance and Pink. The course was a verdant, though long of lawn picture. The first group started the game with an indication of how they would play the nine holes: Walks with a big drive, a neat approach, but just short, a chip onto the green near the pin and a nice putt for par; Macca with a reasonable drive, two chips and two putts for a 5; Scobes with a drive into the bush, a safe out, but then a couple of chips and a couple of putts for a 6. Not much changed throughout the game with Walks carding a solid three pars, four bogeys and two double bogeys for an excellent 23 points. This included losing a ball cutting the corner on the tricky down-hill 14th. but he was still able to recover to score two points. He played well enough to score nothing less than a two-pointer throughout and he was a worthy winner of this Major. Macca had one wipe and a couple of one-pointers but four reasonable three-pointers allowed him to play to his 16 handicap. Scobes perhaps needs a little re-calibration as his usual well-controlled left to right game came unstuck off the tee. He developed a 45 degree deviation at tee-time and this led to an uncharacteristic four wipes. He returned to his usual standard, but unfortunately not until his sole three-pointer on the 18th, for a NAGA-winning 10 points. Chris reports for his group . . .  Match winning Walks was heard to question his strategy of winning so well in the lead-up to the Binningup Masters. Again no Match Play games were contested in the potential wet on an away course so where possible they will be played during the Masters games.
Round Results:
Tuesday, October 19, 2021 Macca reports . . . They say that golf is a game in which the ball lies poorly, and the players well. We, with the exception of the mighty Graham Squance, would be lying if we reported that it was a really enjoyable game today! There were two weather warnings – lots of wind, and 40 mls of rain. Five intrepid golfers defied the weather bureau and appeared on time at Hamersley this morning at 5:15am. There were six cars in the car park after we arrived, and we still didn't pick up a hint of what was to come. It came in a fearsome tempest on the 13th tee. The President's smart umbrella was turned inside out, Squancy's buggy was overturned, Jacko looked terrified, and Ronzo and Macca, though snug in their cart, shut their eyes and hugged each other. The weather was more exciting than the golf.
Your members played as a fivesome today as there was no one else on the back nine, and only one sighting of a golfer on the front nine. With four pars and 43 off the stick Squancey was supreme. He picked up the NTP too. One or two very minor blemishes in his game did not elicit even one raised cry; is he becominging mellow in his old age? Ronzo is warming to the task. He strutted to the podium in second position with 16 points despite two wipes. Fewer mistakes and some nice drives perhaps signal the return of the Master Blaster. He won the long drive, with Jacko claiming an unlucky second place owing to a heap of flotsam and jetsom on the course. Ronzo said “Bulldust!” Two combatants fought for the third position on the podium with Jacko and Macca each carding 14 points. Jacko overcame the mediocre Macca with one wipe, and a 50 off the stick - reasonable in the conditions. He was however probably still recovering from Saturday Night fever. Although Macca received a phone message from someone sounding like Chris at 8:07pm Saturday, Chris claims it must have been Tom! Macca struggled around the course with one wipe, and just one bogey. Like the others, except for Graham S, he putted short on the sanded greens and had trouble off the sanded fairways.
Ga Little was a quiet NAGA today with an uncustomary two wipes, some short putting and one par on the par 3 16th with what he claimed was a mishit (how do you pronounce that?) drive. Graham's big contribution was his magisterial pronouncement before tee-off that the opening round of matchplay was postponed for today as there was no Duckworth-Lewis-Stern method if play had to be abandoned. Round Results:
Tuesday, October 12, 2021 Scobes the Scribe reports . . Ron’s shiny new green van was in stark contrast to the cool, overcast conditions prevailing at Sea View as the mob; sans Walks who preferred the warmth of Carnarvon and the tournament’s titular individual, Dalbs who continues to battle with health issues. What a joy to hear the first shot of the day accompanied by an anguished expletive from Squancie; the GBWGC was truly in session. There would be several other verbal outbursts from the field as a close contest unfolded in the growing gloom. It all looked to going south for Macca as he wiped the first; his recent run of good form appeared to be over. But no! The next three holes yielded diminishing returns of 3, 2 and 1 points respectively. He then threw one in for the handicapper with a wipe on five, but regained his composure to post 10 points over the last three holes. The initial anguish which accompanied Squancie’s opening drive was misplaced as he posted a 2 pointer on the first. A wipe on the second left him in a perilous position. However he recovered to rack up 6 twos on the last seven holes for a pretty reasonable 15 points on a day where scoring was at best subdued.
Pinky was slow off the mark with three straight single pointers. A par on the 4th par 3 and 2 points on the fifth got him back in the game. He kept on the island pretty well for the rest of the round with another 3 points on seven and a 2 at the last. Ronald had a hiccup on the second but played otherwise consistent golf with six 2 pointers and a couple of net double bogey 1 pointers. There was some consternation amongst tournament officials as Ron and Macca were seen to be furiously re-marking their cards after the last hole, however no action was taken as coffee beckoned. On any other day Litt’s card may have been a disaster, but with points hard to find his five 2’s and four singles were enough to keep him in the argument. His day reached its highlight at coffee afterwards where he regaled the gathered members with a historical offering relating to the Dalby Appreciation tournament. Some are still struggling to come to terms with some of the maths embedded in that offering. Thanks anyway Ga!
Jacko had a card which could only be described as very similar to that of Litts (so we won’t describe it). A bit on the Mother Bear side in fact. Unusual to see our low handicapper towards the tail of the field. Imagine the grin on the face of Scobes when he came up with 3 points on the opener. Had he found the game which he mislaid several years ago? Sadly, no.A total of 3 points on the next four holes signaled business as usual. A minor flurry on five and six injected 5 points into the ailing card, but the last two holes sealed his fate. This was a day where only 3 points covered the entire field and who was there to observe the exciting culmination of the morning’s activities? None other than the man of the moment, Dalbs. There he was, circulating near the 18th green, trademark camera and jovial repartee at the ready.
Tuesday, October 5, 2021 The Kalbarri Kid reports . . 7 starters on another perfect morning for golf with the event format PAR. It was also a special outing and significant moment for one of our elder statesmen. Highlights and Lowlights
Little Bounce: The infamous Little Bounce had a couple of contenders today. Macca hit a wild shot that should have been out of the park but somehow bounced back into the middle of the fairway. But he was outdone by Squancey whose ball hit a tree on the NTP hole and ricocheted onto the green AND it won the NTP prize!
The accolades and celebration cake flowed in recognition of Ronzos 400th game. A mighty achievement that might've come sooner had it not been for injury and illness. But . . . he's BACK! CONGRATULATIONS RONZO on a magnificent milestone.
Round Results:
Tuesday, September 28, 2021 As Captain, Reporter, 2019 ExStatics Bridge Champion and all round good guy Walks reports . . . Six intrepid golfers assembled for a 6.15 am start. Stroke was the playing format and the weather was perfect so that was no excuse for poor play. As it turned out, there were 2 golfers that turned up and played very well and 4 golfers that turned up and played some mediocre/poor golf. Macca and Jacko were the good golfers.
A full moon beckoned 8 golfers to Hamersley to test the new management arrangements and, for some, exercise the golfing muscles that had fallen into relative disuse. Perfect weather but, surprise, surprise Jacko may not have had anything to do with it – he had woken up feeling unwell and was notably absent. Powering everything before him, including fixtures and finances, it must've been Macca. And, today, he added chauffeuring to his impressive list of career moves. Our Platinum sponsor and the Little Master were also otherwise detained leaving the perfect booked number to front the 10th tee including the Leyland Brothers Dennis and Brian. The President took the season opening shot but, as the pic shows, we're not sure which club he used.
Today's winner was in no mood to take the foot off the power, having won 6 of the last 10 Winter golf rounds. Had a modest start with some wayward shots and "just missed" putts seeing him 8 shots over for 7 points after 4 holes. But the fast finishing Fantom remained true to form, plundering and putting his way to be just 4 shots over (including birdie on the par 5 14th) and another 14 points in the bag. It was just enough to keep two barking dogs at bay – Squancey, who had a fairly consistent powerhitting round of 5 bogeys, par and 3 doubles – and 2 novelties; and Litts, who went gangbusters over the first 5 holes (2 pars and 3 bogeys) for 13 points before a couple of "wobblies" and one more par saw him just pipped on countback for 2nd. The chauffeur and his passenger, the Right Royal Ronzo, were both the victim of fluctuating fortunes. Macca seesawed his way with impeccable consistency (bogey, double, bogey, triple, par for a handy 4 pts. . . you get the picture) and Ronzo was proving his perfect mentor (double, triple, bogey, quad, bogey, etc). Macca's timing was a bit out as was Ronzos with his fat, thin and wide shot routine (and one delightful aaaaarrggghh) until the16th when that familiar look and feel returned as did his score (just 3 shots over for 9 of his 16 points). Pinky appeared to be testing a new theory – play a couple of holes to vent the worst shots then give the next few your best. It worked! His best 5 holes, 3 to 4 and 7 to 9 (which included 2 pars) netted 13 of his 14 points. But with a view to podium appearances, the theory may come under review.
There was a big gap to our final 2 stalwarts. In a titanic struggle, Dalbs just fended off the NAGA after pain in the hands and shoulder (and brain apparently) saw him wandering aimlessly around the course aided by par at the par 5 14th, one good chip and some reasonable putts. Scobes appeared to be on walkabout, a hangover from his recent North West tripping. Had a purple patch from holes 6 to 8 (for 6 points) but his untiring efforts couldn't produce much else. But there's next week!
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Ron Allardice 
Graeme McLennan 
Graham Little
Brian Pink
The Pines nine was a close tussle. The Ronkers managed five bogeys, three doubles and a triple for 21 points to win the second nine by one. The Jaccas had six bogeys and three doubles for their 20 points. No claimants for NTP at the looong sixteenth and Jacko took the honours for LD again at the seventeenth hole, edging out Macca, the only other contender, by a number of metres.
The first group spent some time looking for, and hitting balls from inside the tree-line over the first couple of holes. Jacko opened his account early with 3 points at the par five first but could manage only 2s and 1s for the rest of the nine, turning with 17. Walks started slowly with just 5 points after four holes until a 5 point birdie at the fifth boosted his score to finish with 18 – or so he thought!! In a rare moment of synchronicity between accounting practices, cookery and legerdemain, Walks and Brian tried to put one over the auditor, the handicapper and the wider golfing public – just because the fifth hole happens to be index 5, doesn’t make it a par 5 (Walks probably needs to return his birdie ball 
). Brian had 6 points through the first four holes until he scored a 4 point par at the fifth (later adjusted to a 3 point bogey) but a wipe at the next killed his momentum and he made 14 for the nine. Squancey wiped one and six and clawed his way to 11 points with bogeys and doubles but did manage to take NTP at four in the process. 
Round Results:
Jacko reports . . . It was the last home game of the 21-22 season and the last chance to improve gross eclectic scores. Perhaps it was this pressure, or maybe it was the lethargy induced by the extra 45 minutes sleep-in, courtesy of the 6:15 start, but there were no obvious takers. With just 4 pars between 8 players over a combined total of 72 holes, it is fair to surmise that the course was the winner, although judging from the scores across those 72 holes, it must have taken quite a beating in the process.
As can be seen from the magnificent sunrise, assisted apparently by the volcanic situation in Tonga, the scene was set to crown the Club Champion … but wait, there was no sign of the President or the P.I.T. striding out of the picturesque sunrise … not surprisingly it was suggested they were too far back in the field to bother!!
Macca, Squancey and Ron took aim at the middle of the fairway and only Squancey succeeded and opened with a five. His game was consistent and his par on the 16th was fantastic … on for two! Macca took over the mantle of playing “pong” golf, except for two bogeys on the par threes. His left handed shot (see picture) was a ripper … possibly a distraction for his game was he kept announcing he didn’t sleep with the fan on! Ron looked like he had blown it, starting with a seven and two more during the round, but finished well and loved being pin high for two on the 17th.
Club Champion: RON ALLARDICE
had to halve the hole and he would have had a shot advantage on Jacko on the last hole to halve the match. We’re not sure what happened but he wiped the hole and the match was over. It wasn’t to be but in any case he would have lost the countback. It’s back to back Match Play Championship wins for Jacko. Well done Jacko.
) while Squancey posted 19 for a total of 36. Tom was obviously there for the driving (of the cart) with sporadic scoring for 11 (recorded) points on the front nine, while Litts whose mind was freed from earthly pursuits to concentrate solely on his golf, strung together a sequence of bogeys and doubles to turn with 13. The motivational recordings they were absorbing through the first nine must have then kicked in, and while it didn't help Tom's math, his golf certainly went up a notch, and a "Little" bounce off the top wire of the boundary fence at 11 and a par at the last gave him 17 (recorded) points for the nine and a total of 28. Litts was operating in the same zone and racked up 14 points through five holes before easing back to post 21 for 34 and take NTP on the eighteenth hole.
Despite the heat it was a successful day South of the River with Southerners sharing the podium between them. Luckily next week's South of the River game is scheduled for Royal Wembley.
Round Results:
Round Results:
Round Results:
In an unusual twist, the 2021 Melbourne Cup was scooped up into the Binningup Open week and played at Bunbury Golf Club. Pinky was happiest, notching consecutive Cup wins and proving his staying power but not before surviving a countback from the man who's keen to resume his Master Blaster heroics.
Round Results:
Walks: Was the winner on the day. He had a day out with 2 pars on the first 2 holes and followed up with another par on the 16th par 3. Even after missing his usual couple of short putts, he ended up with 5+ ‘s and 1- for an overall score of +4.
Podium: 3 Grahams on the podium AGAIN.
Round Results:
Tuesday, September 21, 2021
Round Results: ©
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