Weekly Reports: Season 2020–21

Your report fast track . . .

End of Year Awards
Season 2020–21

The magnificent Walker mansion was again the place of celebration of yet another season of great golf, great camaraderie, exciting innovation and less COVID interruptions. The Walker hospitality is always par excellence and a jolly good time was had by all. Eight of us gathered around the big feasting table with Max cracking the whip and Walks crackling the snags which went down a treat in fresh bread rolls with browned onions and a variety of sauces to be followed by a refreshing fruit platter. THANK YOU once again Max and Walks.

The presentation affair was hijacked by the umbilical brothers fresh from their Handicappers golfing success. Maestro Ron took the chair (to later return it) accompanied by two suspicious looking containers, one of which he said could bring a tear to the eye – mentioned numerous times during proceedings. He then introduced the President for Life who held the group spellbound in the palm of his hand with his smooth, silky, knowledgeable and commanding conduct of the Award presentations assisted by the Maestro and official photographer Tom ("Another great photo!").

Finally came the unveiling of Ronzo's built up "containers" intrigue. The first, the "tears to the eye" container, spewed forth the missing Mandurah Masters trophy after all thought it had gone to God . . .

And the second container? It turned out to be the "Thank you" bag – Toblerone for the Pres (his favourite) and Lindt Gold Bunny chocolates for mine hosts. A memorable way to conclude season 2020–21.

Major Trophies

Season Awards

Tuesday, March 30, 2021
Maylands Peninsula, 4BBB
HANDICAPPER'S TROPHY

The ultimate round in yet another eventful season concluded at the old stomping ground for a number of our members. The notoriously warm and humid March weather didn't let us down, relief coming later in the round with a cooling sea breeze.

Today was the last opportunity to play the Match Play final. Unfortunately, the Little Master was contracted away to higher duties leaving Jacko to savour the 2020-21 MP crown. With seven players, Scobes offered to give himself the boot and play solo leaving 6 players to contest a 4 Ball Better Ball competition. One team picked itself – the Litts/Ronzo buggy combo. The two long drive specialists Squancey and Walks decided to combine their talents leaving Jacko to crack the whip on Macca to screw every drop out of his 34 handicap.

The Presmobile was in top gear as was the Pres. He'd obviously come to play and, after 7 holes, was just 6 shots over the card and had scored all 18 team points. Where's Ronzo? Well, in the right spot at the right time going par/birdie to top off their 9 with an extra 7 points and total of 25 at the turn. Age may have wearied them as it turns out, but they still managed 20 points, the Pres's scores again contributing on 8 of the holes.

The long drivers were well paired. After a slow start where Squancey scrabbled a point a hole over the first two, they went point-for-point before cranking up a notch, scoring 13 points over the last four holes, contributing 2 holes each. The second nine was a more even affair with each contributing 4 holes to the best team score (both totalling 11 points) and one hole shared.

The penultimate season putt

The whip was cracking and Macca was up to the task. On four holes over the journey, he and Jacko shared the same score which contributed 8 points. Jacko was desperate for help, the 7 holes where he contributed to the best team score just shy of par (13 points). Macca delivered also on 7 holes, massaging his handicap with trigger point effect to deliver 20 team points. But the gallant effort fell 5 points short of a Bryce Cottonish boilover and he had to settle for the honour of making the last putt of the season.

The solo player, though lacking match fitness, showed fleeting signs of that innate golfing ability. After all, Scobes did score 4 pars, an achievement matched only by the combined efforts of today's winners. And he did show some consistency, at least on the score card with 17 points each nine.

Round Results:
1st: Litts/Ronzo (45) on countback from . . .
2nd: Squancey/Walks (45)
3rd: Jacko/Macca (41)
NTP: No takers (x 2)
LD: Squancey; Macca
NAGA: Doesn't seem fair to mention Jacko/Macca seeing as they finished third!

Tuesday, March 23, 2021
Hamersley, Stableford

The penultimate round in ideal conditions and a Match Play Final beckoning. But . . . where's Tom? Some COVERT-21 tracing found him bunkered down down South but there's still one chance left in the ultimate round at Maylands. Six of the best were keen to make the most of the season farewell to Royal Hamersley.

It seems there was an A-Team and a B-Team. The A-Team – Macca, Squancey and Walks – took all before them including all podium places. Macca had the classic up-'n-down round, excelling on the even numbered holes (just 3 shots over with two 4 point holes) and struggling on the odds (triple,double and two wipes). But he'd chalked up top points on the evens to record his third season win. Squancey was hot off the tee, bursting out of the blocks with bogey/par before a little rot set in with just 4 points over the next four holes. Hoisted the wet sail and careered home over the final 3 with 9 points to square the card. Walks set a third variation on the scoring theme, struggling over the first 4 holes for just 4 points before settling into a (Colonel) bogey rhythm ("Walksy has only got one ball" etc. etc.) to just pip Jacko for third spot.

Our low handicapper was tripping along reasonably well, playing 6 of his first 7 holes just 5 shots over interspersed with a double at the first par 3. Frustrating doubles over the final two holes just put Jacko out of podium contention, such is the lack of "forgiveness" a low handicap allows. He was accompanied by two veterans toodling along in the Presmobile. And it was a rough ride for both, Litts struggling on all but 3 holes, two of which were the par 3s – and he made par on both and got the NTP! History was about to repeat itself as they trundled up the 17th. Many seasons ago, Litts had a run-in with one of the greenkeepers, a rather aggressive type. In a Ripleys moment, the same greenkeeper in the same tractor was on the 17th with the same aggression to once again upset the Pres (a wipe on the 18th!). Ronzo was privileged to ride with the Pres which proved a big help riding out the storm that raged over his game from the get-go. His nearest effort at par was bogey at the par 3 16th, but my bet is he's more than pleased to be back playing the game he loves.

Round Results:
1st: Macca (20)
2nd: Squancey (18)
3rd: Walks (16)
NTP: Litts
LD: Squancey
NAGA: Ronzo

Tuesday, March 16, 2021
Araluen, Stableford
NOT THE BURSWOOD TROPHY

Squancey the Squribe reports . . . Six GBWGCers converged on Araluen Golf Club for the 1st tee off time of 6.30. Litts must have stayed up all night with the excitement of playing this picturesque course as he was waiting anxiously around the front of the club house for the others to turn up.

A perfect day for golf. The president flexed his muscles and diplomatically suggested that he and his group comprising of Macca and Squancey should tee of first. The three of them hit perfect drives down the centre of the fairway. The second group Walks, Ronzo and Chris showed some concern about bringing home the bacon. Their concerns were not warranted as Squancey spent most of the day sand blasting and chasing the golf ball from one side of the greens to the other.

Litts and Macca managed 13 points on the first 9 with Litts and Macca scoring on all bar 2 holes. Squancey wiped 4 holes amassing a dismal 8 points for the first 9. Ronzo had a disastrous day with his drives as he suggested all of his drives were at least 200 meters short of the drives that Squancey, Macca and Litts hit on the first hole. This is interesting as the biggest drive on the first was Squanceys which went 190 meters. Even with his driver not working, Ronzo managed 14 points on the first 9 wiping 3 holes and picking up two 3 pointers. Chris was playing steady golf, scoring on every hole to turn with 13 points. His low handicap was eating into his ability to score heavily. Walks, was having trouble with the course, wiping 4 holes and only picking up 10 points for the remaining holes, including one 3 pointer scored on the 6th hole.

Ronzo's maiden NTP

There was something happening with Ronzo and Chris as all other players either equalled or bettered their 1st 9 holes score. Macca improved his first 9 holes score by 3 points only wiping 1 hole and picking up one 3 pointer. His total score was 29 taking out 1st place on the podium. Litts continued with some steady golf but, like a lot of us, he was having trouble on the slick greens. He improved his 1st 9 holes score by 1 point making a total of 27 for the 18 holes which put him in second place. Walks' 2nd nine improved considerably by 50% to come in with 15 points, 7 of them picked up on the last 2 holes. His total score of 25 put him in 3rd place on the podium.

The back 9 holes were taking their toll on Ronzo, with him wiping 4 holes and picking up 10 points, getting a par on the NTP, signature 16th hole. I was told that he had blasted a 2-iron off the cliff tee to land the ball within 2 feet of the hole, getting inside Squancey who had landed a ball pin high with a 6-iron. Both payers missed their birdie by a whisker ending up with a par each. Ronzo ended up with a total score of 24. The wheels had fallen off for Chris wiping 4 holes and managing to pick up one 3 pointer and 4 single pointers to come in with 7 points on the 2nd nine for a total 20 points for the 18 holes. Squancey’s golf improved, picking up 13 points for the 2nd nine, with a total of 21 for the 18 holes.

Round Results:
1st: Macca (29)
2nd: Litts (27)
3rd: Walks (25)
NTP: 1st 9: Jackpot; 2nd 9: Ronzo
LD: 1st 9: Squancey; 2nd 9: Walks
NAGA:Jacko

Tuesday, February 23, 2021
Hamersley, Stroke
CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP – Round 2

It was to be a hot morning and the 5 contenders were all hoping for some hot golf. With a later than normal tee-off, warming to the task didn't appear to be a problem. It was great to see Scobes back in harness, though the prospect of a return to Victoria still casts a ghostly shadow. Macca's report indicating that " . . . there can be some big changes in a week, so at the current half-way mark it is still anyone's game in 2021" was about to be tested.

The first group of Macca, Squancey and Scobes all set the pattern for scores on the first hole – double bogey – Walks the one exception with a 9! Squancey needed to better the half-way leader by 8 strokes to draw level. After sharing a slow start over the first two holes with most of the field, he hit his straps with some fine stroke play finishing the next 7 just 6 shots over. It earned him a podium place and the smiles showed he was pleased with the great comeback. Scobes has been starved of golf so one could expect the odd "blow-out" hole. He only delivered on the par 5 6th with triple but, apart from that, nipped and tucked his way around in creditable fashion and may have given the title a shake had he been available over the two weeks. Macca failed the post match drug test! He'd had a medical procedure the day before and admitted to having some woozy moments which, unfortunately, translated to four woozy holes. But the hands are in pretty good shape and we expect his form to head in the same direction.

Heading for home	The Championship putt

The championship winner was most likely to come from the second group of Tom, Jacko and Walks. With Tom ahead by 3 strokes at the turn, Jacko had an 8 stroke margin to make up to draw level while for Walks it was 3 strokes. Walks had a torrid time right from the get-go taking a 9 at the 1st hole! With a tree tree here, And a tree tree there, Here a tree, There a tree, Everywhere a tree, tree he was 15 over par after the first 4 holes and out of contention but managed to salvage the next 5 to some extent, going 9 shots over. And so it came down to a shoot-out between Jacko and Tom. After both had doubles at the 1st, Tom's bogey at the 2nd inched him another shot ahead and Jacko's target was out to 9 strokes (10 for the win). It seems challenges like that stir him up. He went par at the par 5 3rd to claw back 3 shots, gained another at the next hole . . . and then went birdie (gaining 4 shots), par (2) and birdie (2) to amazingly sit 3 shots in the lead. Tom got one back at the 8th but Jacko returned the favour at the ultimate hole for quite a memorable Club Championship win. He's made this his speciality, being Club Champion in 3 of the last 4 years.

Club Champion: CHRIS JACKSON
NAGA: Walks
Club Championship – Final Results

Round Results:
1st: Jacko (Net 34)
2nd: Squancey (35)
3rd: Scobes (37)
NTP: Jacko
LD: Macca

Tuesday, February 16, 2021
Hamersley, Stroke
CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP – Round 1

Macca's Missive . . .What happened in the Club Championship 12 months ago? Round 1, but playing the front 9, saw some reasonable net scores with Dalbs 33, Jacko 34, Litts 36, and Walks on 37. A big turnaround in the second round (back 9) had Jacko skintillating with a net 30, Litts an excellent 31 and Walks also under handicap on 34. Dalbs's score is lost in antiquity! The podium finishers were Jacko on 64; Litts 68; and Walks 70. These scores show there can be some big changes in a week, so at the current half-way mark it is still anyone's game in 2021. It is our 21st Club Championship, so an excellent one to win!

Tom, with a sound 35 net, was the only player to better his handicap. It is reported he was consistent all day with six bogeys and 3 doubles. A worthy leader despite a lack of pars on his card. Playing with Tom, Walks came in second with a reportedly erratic round. He had two nice pars on the 10th and 16th and claims he is keeping his powder dry for next week. In the same group, Litts wasn't having his best day and your reporter has been unable to find a completed card for the lad. You will have to discuss with Jacko what actually happened even though he played in the second group. The president has submitted an official 'failure to finish' as he will not be available for the second round.

The second group of Jacko, Macko and Smacko (Mr Squance) had a pleasant time, but some forgettable scores. Jacko played the first five holes with his usual skill scoring three pars and two bogeys. He played like the rest of us over the final four holes and finished with a net 38. Even more disappointing was Squancey on 41 (52 off the stick) and Macca on 42 (his grossest score in a while of 59). Squancey couldn't get his Taylor Mades rolling but showed glimpses of the power of the new clubs.  However, Jacko generally won the battle of the new clubs with a definite lengthening of his drives.

Jacko beat Tom by a bee's in the NTP and Tom got the LD with a shot on the fairway. Apres golf coffees were consumed luke warm as discussion of the Little brouhaha and the maiden South West Masters proceeded apace.

Handicapper's Note: As the Club Championships is an 18 hole event, most of the season stats are not affected this week. For example handicap adjustments, wins, NAGAs, masters and consistency are not recorded. This was the case last year except for some reason the NAGA was. The handicapper has decided that it doesn't make sense if the win is not recorded.

On the other hand the novelty prizes such as NTP and LD are recorded as is the Eclectic. Birdies would have been recorded had there been any.

Leaderboard at halfway:
35 – Little Master
38 – Jacko
38 – Walks
41 – Squancey
42 – Macca

Results to be officially recorded:
NTP: Jacko
LD: Little Master

Tuesday, February 9, 2021
Hamersley, Stableford

Jacko the Journalist reports . . . The morning was cool but the golf was hot for one of the five who presented on Tuesday. The day was billed as the Matchplay final but an early withdrawal by Tom knocked it back to a garden variety Stableford event (assuming your garden is filled with masked men moving furtively round the trees). The ball-toss saw Macca, Squancey and Walks leading the field, with Litts and Jacko sweeping up after them.

Walks was on a mission and, despite indulging his arboreal passions over the first two holes, he still had five 3 pointers after five holes. Another at the seventh (16th), a 4 pointer at the last after posting a Long Drive and a couple of disappointing 2 pointers gave him a winning total of 26 – in this case the mask was very appropriate. Squancey was still coming to terms with his driver (the wobbly stick) but managed some great shots along the way, including an NTP at the 12th which he converted to a birdie. A 3 point bogie at the last gave him a total of 15 putting him into a successful countback for third. Macca thought he had a chance early on, as the other two were a little unsteady over the first two holes and he had 8 points after 4 holes. However reality set in, and though his drives were generally OK, his game was fought/fraught with errors, as was his card, and he walked off the last with 12 points and NAGA. As we go to print though, the auditor and handicapper have amended this to 13 and NAGA.

Jacko started hot with three pars for 8 points but fell victim to the “if I just make this minor tweak I think I can get 10 more metres” fallacy, managing just 9 points over the remaining holes for a total of 17 and second place. Litts was playing his usual solid round with 8 points after four holes, but with a different putter he was trying out, he managed just 7 points for the rest to finish with 15 points and lose the aforementioned countback for third.

Round Results:
1st: Walks (26 pts)
2nd: Jacko (17)
3rd: Squancey (15) . . . on countback from Litts
NTP: Squancey
LD: Walks
NAGA: Macca

Tuesday, February 2, 2021
Hamersley, Stableford

Cancelled – COVID Lockdown

Tuesday, January 25, 2021
Joondalup, Stableford
JOONDALUP CLASSIC

A Little wisdom . . . It was a cooler day for this event than has been the case in recent years. It was a day the members were looking forward to and the cooler weather made it even more enjoyable. Unfortunately our secretary/webmaster had to withdraw before the event (more on this later) and we were down to six players. The players were split into two groups of three with CJ, GS and TJ hitting off first. The three Graheme’s hit off second. The first nine was the Quarry nine and the second was the Lake nine.

Jacko invested in some new clubs (Callaways) and it’s unknown if this was the first outing. It appeared that he took some time to get used to the clubs as the first nine was pretty average but that all changed in the second nine with a sizzling 21 points involving six pars. He went on to win the Joondalup Classic and he was quick to claim the Callaway versus TaylorMade manufacturer’s prize. Second and third was decided by countback. Little won the count back because he had a pretty good finish with the reverse being true for Tom. Tom had 30 points after 15 holes and was right in it. Unfortunately things went awry and he managed three points only for the last three holes. Bad luck Tom.

It was a similar story for Macca and Walks who were right in it up to the sixteenth but just couldn’t finish off the way they wanted to. Walks suffered a three hole wipe in the middle of the round that put him back in the pack. He was leading after nine holes. Overall the scoring was of a high standard given that we didn’t use slope this year with all but one player scoring 30 points or more. The exception was Squancey who had an off day a fact that was pretty obvious to both groups on the course. He scored the NAGA.

After golf the food and drinks were welcomed by the players, This was followed up with some more mangos.

The Webmaster
As above the webmaster had to withdraw because of his troublesome hand and wrist. At home the day started well with a good breakfast and a walk but it was to deteriorate rapidly. By late morning he wasn’t feeling well and had to lie down. By mid-afternoon he was in agony with pain in the tummy near the belt line. Eventually he sought medical help at Joondalup Emergency and he was diagnosed with a twisted small colon. It took some time to get the pain under control and he was sent to surgery at 3am Tuesday morning. Current indications are that it was a complete success and he should be home shortly. Get well soon Robin.

Round Results:
1st: Jacko (34)
2nd: Litts (33) on countback from . . .
3rd: Tom (33)
NTP: Tom and Squancey
LD: Walks (x 2)
NAGA: Squancey

Tuesday, January 19, 2021
Hamersley, Stroke
GOLDEN PUTTER – Round 2

A Little observer noted that . . . The sky looked overcast when the first players arrived at the course but the darker clouds gradually disappeared. It was cool enough but pretty humid after the rain the previous night. There were two groups of three: Walks, Macca and Tom in the first group, self-styled as the A Team; and Squancey, Jacko and Litts in the second.

Particular interest centred on the Golden Putter with Litts holding a 2-putt buffer from Squancey and a 4-putt buffer from Jacko and Macca at the turn. Each had varying degrees of success as today's round progressed, Jacko mixing 3 1-putts with what may have been a title ending 4-putt at the 15th! Litts wasn't quite on his game, the longer putts giving some heartache as were some 3-putts. Macca was toodling along quite consistently with mostly 2-putts and no 3-putts while Squancey was out early with 2 1-putts but lost that advantage with 2 3-putts. And so they teed off at the 18th with Litts, on 29 putts for 17 holes, holding a 2-putt lead over his competitors – all on 31 putts! What followed was what dreams and nightmares are made of. Lying 3 and off the green, Jacko sank the putt for par and ZERO putts, sealing the GP deal in sensational fashion by just 1 putt as Litts recorded his third 3-putt for the day and Macca and Squancey were down in regulation. Such are the vagaries of golf!

Today's round winner Squancey played some really good solid golf off the 10 handicap. The inevitable explosions were few and far between as he travelled 8 holes in just 5 over, but bubbled up a little on the par 4 17th on his way to a triple. After a week's rest, Walks was out of the blocks with consecutive pars after which the doubles dominated. But he still snuck into second one stroke ahead of Macca who struck trouble and a few mishits twixt tee and green but his consistent putting held him in good stead.

For Jacko, Litts and Tom, it was a tough day at the office, the trio only managing 6 pars between them with Jacko enjoying a birdie on the par 5 14th helped by a 1-putt.

It wasn't all sour grapes! Walks bought along a box of Carnarvon mangoes and shared them out with the players after the game. Delicious.

SW Masters/NMM
There was some spirited discussion led by Tom. Questions were raised about the dates, voucher books, courses, the bus, eateries, etc. Tom will speak to Ron about the discussion.

Round Results:
1st: Squancey (Net 34)
2nd: Walks (35)
3rd: Macca (36)
NTP: Little Master
LD: Jacko
NAGA: Litts (42)
Birdies: Squancey - par 4 10th; Jacko - par 5 14th
Golden Putter results

Tuesday, January 12, 2021
Hamersley, Stroke
GOLDEN PUTTER – Round 1

After a bit of cavorting south of the river, it was back to our traditional home and our first of two trips over the front nine. Six for the first round of the Golden Putter but not too many to be seen on the practice green. For that matter, there were not too many Joe Publics to be seen either and we had a clear blast off from the first tee in warm conditions.

There was movement at the station, for the word had passed around, that the man beyond reproach had help from his coach! Whatever wisdom was passed on, Litts looked very relaxed and very focussed. His pitching/chipping clicked today (it was only a matter of time) managing to place the ball close enough to give a good chance at sinking the putt – and sink 'em he did, with 5 1-putt holes. His 5 pars contributed to a round just 7 strokes over the card, the only blemish a triple on the 2nd, and to a runaway win. He also leads the Golden Putter with just 13 putts, equalling his first round effort last season where he went on to win the coveted trophy by a comfortable 4 putts. His efforts at scoring, however, couldn't match his golf much to the amusement of the Little Master. Ever seen a golf card scored in Chinese hieroglyphics? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Jacko's fine form continues unabated despite the recent hiatus as he munched his way around the Apple Isle. A few drives went slightly askew and a few putts went agonisingly close for a couple of pesky 3-putts, but his 44 off-the-stick was good return for concentrated effort, and his fast finish (2 pars and bogey) secured the countback from . . . Macca. Never a dull moment as the Whirling Dervish pounded them down the fairways, through the bush and between the trees in a delicate mix of shots. His short game held him in good stead, a chip shot from 10m out to within a foot of the pin at the 7th a gem. Running a bit hot and cold – par on both par 3's mixed with an 8 on three holes – but niggling soreness in one hand remains a factor.

Timberrrrrr	Where he loves it most - down the middle

Squancey is always thereabouts but his rounds of recent weeks have been plagued by inconsistency. Managed 2 pars today and a birdie on the par 3 5th, driving onto the green and sinking the putt. Unfortunately he managed to sneak in 3 triples but the putter helped save the day with 4 1-putts and he now sits equal second going into the 2nd round of Golden Putter. The Little Master is having a torrid time of it. Last week's theory was "climate change". Not sure whether this week's round was inspired by the Indian cricket team's superb effort in stretching out the game (for a draw). Tom seemed intent on stretching out his round and with it his score, managing doubles for his best 6 holes and carving out a 5-putt and two 3-putts. Perhaps if he threw a few dollars in the direction of the President's coach, his game would hit form? Dalbs was playing the "sore me" card. The wrist was a tad tetchy and attempts to bend to retrieve the ball were somewhat robotic. It all added up to a nice stroll in the park punctuated by some one-handed drives, a few triples and a 12 on the par 5 6th for his maiden NAGA win.

Round Results:
1st: Litts (Net 32)
2nd: Jacko (37) on countback from . . .
3rd: Macca (37)
NTP: Squancey
LD: Litts
NAGA: Dalbs (47)
Golden Putter Rd 1 results

Tuesday, January 5, 2021
Collier Park, Stableford
SOUTH OF THE RIVER – Day 2

Summer has definitely draped her blanket of heat across our fair city and today promised more of the same. Early teeoffs are a godsend on such days and the decision to only play 9 holes proved its worth. Six of the best fronted the 1st on Lake, divided on instructions from the pro shop as a 4 and a 2, the latter to be joined by 2 Joe Publics. But when these two arrived, they were obviously overawed by the sheer golfing talent before them (Squancey/Dalbs really looked the part) and chose to play by themselves.

The power behind his 5 LD wins to-date

Strange is not the word for the winner's round. Dalb's dicky wrist felt fine pre-game but after a few painful twinges and three 1-point holes, he seriously contemplated shouldering arms and enjoying the walk. "Just one more hole", a swing modification and some good short game fortunes, and he (somehow) came home just 5 shots over for the next 6 holes and felt happy just squaring the card. But on a low scoring day and with a fast finish, it was enough to win the countback for line honours! He just pinched the win off Walks, the Enigma Man. Today it was Double Trouble (or Double or Nothing?) rattling off as he did 6 doubles while taking time out for 2 pars, one on the 9th for 4 points, and a triple. He didn't hold back and kept his reputation for the "unexpected" alive! Our third placegetter had a slow start. Though not getting into too much trouble, Litts' ball striking was not as he'd like it and we all know how frustrating that can be. After just 4 points over the first 4 holes, he seemed to find his mojo, going just 4 over for the remaining 5 holes and bagging enough points to win the countback. But it's still a swing work-in-progress.

Squancey was powering the ball long and straight over the opening holes, finishing well and striding to the 4th tee with 7 points in the bag. A few mishits and wonky putts and the first of two wipes suddenly appeared. Little inconsistencies amongst continuing strong ball striking and some putting blues persisted with two doubles producing only 1 point, inevitable when you're on an 8 handicap. Was a bit frustrating but the vocal chords were notably silent. Both Macca and Tom, try as they might, couldn't maintain the rage nor the momentum nor the accumulation of points. Both had a good start – bogey and par – and Macca was making the most of the first two par 3s bogeying each and reaching the 6th tee in regulation 10 points. Then the fit hit the shan and he could only muster another 4 points, 3 of them from bogey at the 9th. Tom made his mark on the 1st (bogey), 5th (par) and 6th (bogey) where he reaped 9 of his 11 points. Apart from these, the heat was not in his game. Could it have been the abrupt climate change, from that cushy, Canberra cool to Perth's parboil? Next week will tell.

Round Results:
1st: Dalbs (18) on countback from . . .
2nd: Walks (18)
3rd: Litts (15) on countback from Squancey
NTP: No takers
LD: Squancey
NAGA: Little Master

Tuesday, December 29, 2020
Pt Walter, Stableford
SOUTH OF THE RIVER – Day 1

It was predicted to be a scorcher and relief from the Freo Doctor unlikely. But the easterly and the shady trees made for a relatively pleasant morning. Chris was prepared to give us the chits early, rolling out a few of them and treating us to a pre-game coffee. Thanks Chris. After several attempts at putting practice proved somewhat fruitless, we joined a good sized queue at the 1st, staked our claim and the fun began.

So, we though we had Chris nobbled, teeing off as he was with an 8 handicap. But never discount the 'home course' factor and the fact that he's into playing some of his best golf. To prove the point he charged off with consecutive pars, adding another 3 by stumps. Strode cockily onto the 6th tee just 3 shots over but the rage temporarily subsided – a wipe!! Unflustered, he finished strongly scoring par/bogey/par to be only 4 shots over for 8 holes . . . and he'd pocketed both novelties for good measure. The master is now down to a 7 handicap, a level he last achieved in January. That finish was just enough to win the countback from the man who's starting to becoming a podium pest. Litts is thinking behind the scenes to find ways to enhance his consistency and today his elusive long game was pretty good. Appeared to struggle when in trouble and described his short game as "average" but, apart from one wipe, his card was a consistent mix of 4's and 5's . . . and he's steadily looking the goods to also go into a single figure handicap. Dalbs was still hampered by the dodgy wrist (an excuse for his dodgy golf?) and couldn't buy a par, just a series of 5's and 6's due mostly to his grappling with the greens described by one keen observer as "tricky as usual and difficult to read". The slow, methodical plodding earned just enough points over the home stretch to snaffle third on countback from . . .

. . . Walks. Like the course, our Walksy is becoming a bit of an enigma. Slow starts and BIG finishes; Strong starts and slow finishes, pars mixed with triples and quads. Today it was a combination of the latter two as he struggled with direction particularly with his woods which contributed to 2 triples and a quad all in the second half . . . and with a par thrown in between! The rest of his game was pretty solid but those expensive outliers made the podium difference. Our Scobes had apparently come to play, doing a Wembley repeat with par at the first. But it was short lived as balls suddenly headed left on one hole and right the next and the ship had hit a reef. Started to piece the bits together again from the 5th but the course with its dog legs left didn't suit his left to right flight, apart from the dog leg right 9th where he creamed it gently around the bend to just fall short of the LD but not of the NAGA.

An excellent brunch followed at the House of Chris attended by GL, DS, GW and of course CJ. Orange juice and watermelon to start was followed by an egg, bacon and salad roll and finished off with coffee and freshly baked muffins after which mine host was presented with a sleeve of green Srixons for his fine effort of cleaning up the trifecta.

Round Results:
1st: Jacko (19) on countback from . . .
2nd: Litts (19)
3rd: Dalbs (16) on countback from Walks
NTP: Jacko
LD: Jacko
NAGA: Scobes (15)

Tuesday, December 22, 2020
Wembley, Stableford
CHRISTMAS CUP

A delightful morning at Royal Wembley for the 21st running of the Cup, seven teeing up to enjoy the cool before the forecast heat. As always, it was great to welcome Jeff Carlton back into the fold, and didn't he look fit! The Old Course looked in excellent nick but scoring initially proved difficult for some after a few Tuart Course cards found their way into the mix.

The honour of leading the field was bestowed on Jeff who accepted humbly and strode to the tee with great purpose. He and his ball were apparently not on talking terms at first as, hunched over the ball and deep in concentration, his first salvo left the ball exactly where he'd teed it up. Unflustered, the Canberra Kid threw everything at his next tee off, a perfect pitch shot just past the ladies tee. After retrieving the ball, Walks whispered "The idea is to drive first and pitch second". Always a quick learner, Jeff sent the ball sailing down the fairway with a knowing smile. It wasn't his best round but he had fun along the way, saving Walks from taking the lead in season NAGA wins.

Without the pressures of Match Play, both Scobes and Chris came to play. Chris rarely strayed off the fairways, his precision work around and on the greens was worth the admission fee. At least three pitch/chips snuggled up to less than a metre from the pin, one a gimmee, while his long, turning 6 metre putt for birdie at the par 5 17th (for 4 points) rounded off some fine reads of length and direction that all went to securing a fine 41 off-the-stick (including 3 pars and a birdie) and a convincing win, his score only bettered by Walks in 2012-13 (27 points!). Scobes shot out of the blocks with par, stumbled a bit (a double) then . . . KAZAM . . . sunk a 70 metre approach at the 12th for birdie (and 5 points!) for 9 points after 3 holes. Got a little cocky on the following two holes, his chip shots just missing the hole, then came home strongly to ensure the defending champion secured a second placing. Litts was thereabouts over the first two but got it together over the middle stretch with patience, persistence and some clean hitting for 13 points over 5 holes before losing momentum on the run home. Rued what coodabeen as too many putts just missed by the proverbial.

Pitcher perfect	Blast!	A happy knack of just staying out of sand

Macca was straight into the scoring department rattling off a series of 2 and 3 pointers in swashbuckling style as he dodged and weaved his way to the 17th tee with a handy 16 points in the bag. Then THAT number appeared, lucky for some but not on the golf course. Two 7's for 2 more points was enough to take the steam out of his Cup challenge. Dalbs, troubled by a sore wrist early, was all over the place, especially on the greens where a series of 3-putts put a nasty dent in his score card. Walks wasn't faring much better. Hit some booming shots, some unfortunately into blooming trees where a couple rebounded back by about 40 metres. Hasn't enjoyed a good run in recent appearances so watch out for the return to form.

Egg and bacon rolls, paninis and copious coffees were consumed around the table after which Santa with his trusty sack dispensed some golf ball goodies with a bit of history . . . and greatly appreciated!! It was the perfect prelude to the surprise visit of the veteran's veteran, Ronald "Master Blaster" Allardice, all 15 kilos less of him after a nasty bout of pneumonia. What was in his Christmas sack?

To hushed silence, he slowly released the strings to reveal . . .

. . . complete with chipped top.

Round Results:
1st: Jacko (23)
2nd: Scobes (20)
3rd: Litts (19)
NTP: Macca
LD: Jacko
NAGA: Jeff C

Tuesday, December 15, 2020
Hamersley, Par Bisque

It's cold, then it's hot then it's cold. And it ain't the golf although some might dispute that. The jumpers were back on and the field slowly grew to an impressive 8 starters sheltering against a chippy wind. With Pinky on extended absence, the decision to proceed with the Match Play saw wily Jacko taking on cool hand Scobes for a spot in the Final.

Match Play. It was the most controversial finish in the club's history. But to the game first, with Jacko giving Scobes 2 handicap strokes. And Scobes was quick out of the blocks with par, enough to go 1 up. They traded stroke for stroke over the next four holes – well, Scobes did have an extra stroke at the 13th – as cool hand held onto his one hole lead stepping onto the 15th tee. Jacko slipped into a "5 shots a hole" routine over the closing 4 holes, winning the 15th to get the game back to square, dropping the 16th and winning the 17th and the two fired off the 18th tee all square with Scobes holding an extra stroke up his sleeve. It was almost a telling stroke as his double bogey to Jacko's bogey saw them trudge up to coffee unable to be separated. And then the mass debate began about the countback rule to determine the winner. Cool hand tried his (Donald) Trump card "I was in front from the start and therefore should've won. All these so called rules are bogus. I had some big swings out there that should've determined the result in my favour". But chief justice Little rejected his longshot claim and the result was determined by stroke scores over the last three holes less one-third of handicap with Jacko victorious 11.7 strokes to 12!!

The Par Bisque champion today, in only his second game since handing it in for a couple of months, was Macca. Off target for two holes and keeping his 15 handicap strokes intact, he launched into a 6-hole bogey/double bogey run that generated 6 consecutive pluses coughing up a couple of 3 handicap strokes-per-hole in the process. Stumbled over the last but the middle stretch had done just enough to pip the field. Dalbs almost did a "Macca", destroying the first two holes with triples before settling into a bogey/par run over the next 5 holes to notch up 5 pluses. Scratched around for doubles over the final two, missing a relatively easy but costly putt at the 18th but survived the countback to be second to a gallant Scobes.

Dem's the breaks . . . on a somewhat wayward day

Squancey, Little Master, Walks (and Jacko) all posted a final +1, results that reflected a general malaise of hot and cold golf across the mornings players. Squancey, the club low handicapper, charged out with 2 pars over the first 3 holes before the tree factor kicked in (and a triple). Too many trees, aaaarrrgghhh's and doubles over the final 3 did him in. Little Master personified hot and cold, experiencing the frustrations of scores seesawing from hole to hole, bogey at the first followed by triple/bogey/quadruple/par/double/par/double/double. That metronome swing couldn't maintain the rage today. Walks couldn't muster that flourishing finish nor a flourishing start, managing only 1 par and 1 bogey in a round confirming the wayward nature of today's golf. Offset the sinking of 2 long putts, one at least 25 ft, by missing two of the shortest (about 9 inches!). Never a dull moment when the Phantom's around. Litts looked like he was moving into some solid golf after settling into a rhythm and a par at the 3rd. But progress suddenly and inexplicably stalled and balls took off in all directions as did his scores, apart from a neat Litts-like par at the 16th. We all had our "moments" on a day when no ones par-equivalent scores squared or bettered the card.

Round Results:
1st: Macca (+3)
2nd: Dalbs (+2) on countback from . . .
3rd: Scobes (+2)
NTP: Litts
LD: No takers
NAGA: Litts
Match Play: Jacko def. Scobes – On net score after finishing square

Tuesday, December 8, 2020
Hamersley, Stableford
PRESIDENTS TROPHY

Summer pounced with a near-as-dammit century forecast by the weather boffins. First time all arrivals had shed the jacket/jumpers – and there were 7 to contest the 13th running of the Presidents Trophy. Never seen so many on the practice putting green, all following the President's example.

WHAT! A putter from off the (18th) green?

They were somewhat similar roundsand starting out on the same handicap. Litts crashed into early contention with a fine birdie to start and 4 points while Dalbs settled with bogey. Both made a mess of the par 5 11th with comprehensive wipes but recovered to each play some fine golf, covering the next 5 holes in just 3 over for 13 points. Litts had a 2 point lead standing on the 17th tee but was a tad wayward to manage 1 point while Dalbs didn't fair much better with a loose shot or two but still managed 2 points. Litts remained steady to close in on the 18th with a solid bogey for 3 points and a 4 point lead but, as has happened in a couple of previous games, Dalbs short game held, hitting a clean approach shot to lie within 3 metres of the pin and sank the putt for par and 4 points, his first par on the hole since the 2016/17 season and an outcome that proved crucial in the countback.

Little Master was having an on again-off again day to start, going bogey/double/par/double/par/double but the pars and their 3 handy points had him thereabouts after 6 holes. Tightened the screws over the final 3 with steady golf injecting another par, bogey and double to tally 8 decisive points that sealed third place from a gallant Squancey. The pinch hitter was pounding out some power golf with successive pars at 11 and 12 and, apart from a double at the 15th, carved out bogeys to finish the round 8 shots over but unable to match points with the Little Master over the home stretch.

WHAM – with full follow through	Somewhat awkward but successful out	Macca's Back!

Walks and Macca are always good for a contest, though lack of match practice could be a good Macca excuse. But, hey, Walks is all over the shop over the first two with withering wipes while Macca is working himself in with two 2 pointers to establish a handy 4 point lead. Amazingly, both went stroke for stroke and point for point over the next four holes and, at the par 3 16th, Walks went walkabout again while Macca plugged away for bogey, 2 points and a 6 point lead. "Got 'Im" thought Macca. But the 7 hole journey after an extended absence seemed to be taking its toll, Macca struggling over the closing holes for 1 more point while Lazarus thumped out bogey/par to stump up 7 points, tie with his mate and take out a countback in this friendly contest. Now Macca knows how Squancey felt in his Match Play!

Where's Jacko? He was Mr Everywhere last week which cost a nasty 2 handicap strokes. This week the pars eluded him until the ultimate hole and, until then, a couple of doubles and a triple (for just 2 points) had clouded his card. Maybe the post-300 games blues? Keep an eye on him next week in a comp in which he applies the hole-by-hole points allocation very scientifically – Par Bisque.

Round Results:
1st: Dalbs (21) on countback from . . .
2nd: Litts (21)
3rd: Little Master (19) on countback from . . . Squancey
NTP: Dalbs
LD: Walks
NAGA: Jacko
Birdie: Litts Par 4 10th

Tuesday, December 1, 2020
Hamersley, Stableford
MATCH PLAY Rd 2

Six of the best gathered on an unseasonally chilly morning for the first day of summer, experiencing a record minimum summer temperature. No complaints though knowing it will hot up soon enough. And things were about to hot up for two of our Match Players, with Walks and the Little Master agreeing to square up a week after their stirring Round 1 wins. And little did Jacko know the little that we knew, but the Little said "Wait until after the golf"!

Match Play. And the initial drives, Walks trees left and Little Master trees right, gave no indication of what was to come. But Walks was immediately in trouble, a double from the trees and a wobbly wipe on the second after balls flew left and right and he was 2 down. The Little Master was playing some measured and consistent golf and if he mishit, Walks was sure to follow with an equally good mishit. Walks managed to claw a hole back at the 13th but followed up with a wipe and a double and Tom's lead was out to 3 up.The big fella never really got hot apart from the 16th and 17th where his two bogeys against Tom's doubles saw him turn just 1 down. With an extra stroke at the last Tom poured on the pressure, the metronome swing creating a clutch bogey as Walks staggered at the finish and the 2018–19 champion was into the Final.

He's been thereabouts in the three games since his return and today's sterling effort was an emphatic statement that he's back!! Jacko was at his consistent best with clean hitting and those measured putts, rattling off 5 consecutive bogeys in a prelude to going par/birdie and striding to the 17th just 4 shots over after his tee shot at the par 3 16th lobbed to within a metre or two of the pin for an "easy" putt. Had a slight hiccup at the 17th for double but was back into rhythm with a closing bogey for 22 points and a clean sweep of the novelties. Dalbs continued to mostly show accuracy off the tee and fairways and had a love of the par 3s, going par on both. Again, it was the often maligned short game that saved his bacon on several occasions, a pitch and putt, chip and putt and draining a 10 metre putt adding valuable points that got a podium place. Litts was having a very mixed day. It was a somewhat slow start by his standards but still littered with a few sweetly hit shots. By the 13th he'd settled and began a run of 2 bogeys and 2 great pars on the enigmatic 15th and 17th holes for 4 points each, interposing a wipe at the 16th (it was a mixed day!) as the short game took leave of its senses. But the par run did enough to clinch the countback for third.

The impressive road to 300

Squancey would've given the podium a shake had it not have been for those punishing drives that too often faded right. But his ability to recover and post a string of bogeys from holes 11 to 16 followed by par at the testing 17th showed great temperament. It was the double at the start and wipe at the finish (where Macca joined in the fun) that proved the difference.

Highlight of the presentations wasn't Tom's comment "Macca should stop wearing shorts", but recognition of Chris playing his 300th game with GBW. Having settled permanently in Perth after many incarcerations in Siberia, season 2013–14 marked the beginning of very successful and impressive performances which have earned him wins in 16 of the 20 major awards with 28 overall Award successes. And, of course, he's been the driving force behind the much enjoyed Winter Golf seasons. CONGRATULATIONS CHRIS.

Round Results:
1st: Jacko (22)
2nd: Dalbs (21)
3rd: Litts (19) on countback from . . . Little Master
NTP: Jacko
LD: Jacko
NAGA: Walks
Birdie: Jacko Par 3 16th
Match Play: Little Master def. Walks – 2 up

Tuesday, November 24, 2020
Hamersley, Stableford
MATCH PLAY

Another perfect day in Paradise, just right for kick starting the long awaited Match Play contest. The six MPers were joined by Scobes, no balls were tossed, the groups shuffled into order by the Little Master and the game was on.

First pair out of the blocks were Dalbs up against the Little Master, the thin man bursting with confidence knowing his opponent was game-starved. "Strewth, he's matched my par at the 1st!". But confidence grew as he recovered from a tree-bound drive to go 1-up but it wasn't to last. Man turned into machine, the Master rattling off consecutive pars with excellent golf striding to the 5th 1-up and with 12 Stableford points in the bag! The machine misfired over the 5th and the match returned to square. A steadier Master over the 6th and his 4th par at the 7th saw him 2-up with 2 to play. Inexplicably. the lure of the bush proved too great for the Little Master over the closing holes and Dalbs stuck to fairways (sort of) to square up the match but couldn't withstand the Master's withering start, the match decided on countback.

Under the trees at the 5th	Backhander at the 8th

It was a "What the f . . ." moment as they strode off the 9th green. Squancey had played remarkably consistent golf – 1 par and 8 bogeys – in a fine round that had grossed 20 Stableford points. Never less than 2 points per hole and he'd taken the Match Play lead from the get-go, holding it until the 8th hole despite giving Walks 3 handicap strokes. Walks had a clanger of a start with triple/double garnering just 1 point. But, apart from another double at the 5th, he settled into a 3 point rhythm including par at both par 3's to square one hole and get Squancey's lead back to 1 up after the 7th. Walks had the advantage of an extra stroke over the closing 2 holes taking the 8th, after both had bogeys, to square the match. His blistering finish – 2 long woods, a pitch and a 4 metre putt for par and 4 points – sealed the Match Play deal . . . and the round win . . . and that "moment".

The delay in Match Play made Jacko's day. He and Litts were away with quick fire pars and the stage look set for an interesting tussle between two players noted over the seasons for their consistency of play. Oops . . .spoke too soon – Jacko hits a triple and Litts is 1 up. The second of three Jacko pars at the par 3 3rd squared it following which Litts took the opportunity to notch his own triple at the 4th to put Jacko 1 up. They went stroke for stroke on the par 5 5th before Jacko carved out his second triple at the 6th won by Litts with a double and the match was back to square. The boys were struggling a bit, Litts not able to find his touch and double bogeying the next two while Jacko carved out his third par at the 7th to again go 1 up but also jumped on the double bogey train to square the 8th and remain 1 up. Litts had the comfort of an extra stroke on the ultimate hole but, in the golfing vernacular, the fit hit the shan and he wiped the hole for a Jacko 2 up triumph.

And Scobes? It was deja vu over the first 4 holes with memories from 2 weeks ago of " unScobey-like shots that flew in all directions, some fat, some thin". But all bad things must come to an end and signs of the 'old' Scobes started to appear, particularly the bit where drives and irons hit the fairways! He's taking his NAGA trot in good spirits.

Round Results:
1st: Walks (21)
2nd: Squancey (20)
3rd: Little Master(19)
NTP: Little Master
LD: Walks
NAGA: Scobes

Tuesday, November 17, 2020
Point Walter, Stableford

An unexpected change to fixturing had a pleasant outcome – the opportunity to play the enigmatic Point Walter course . . . and a sleep-in. Six starters had the pleasure and it was great to have the Little Master back on the tee after his grandpa duties and COVID capers. The weather couldn't have been better for week 9 of the season. Walks was obviously groping in the dark finding his golf attire, appearing in blue and black shoes and, fortuitously, left and right feet!

It was Graham Hyde who stepped onto the 1st tee and did nasty things to balls and trees and golf clubs and the Queen's english, so much so that he'd only managed 5 points over the first 4 holes. Then Graham Jekyll suddenly morphed and his stylish demeanor transformed his game with solid drives, pounding irons and touch on the greens to amass 13 points (including 2 pars) over the next 5. Squancey had secured the countback for a fine win. Dalbs was out of the blocks early with consistent golf shots from tee to green and had snaffled 9 points striding onto the 4th tee. The driving continued to impress but approaches to the green (too short or too long) and those "curious" greens he failed to accurately read produced 6 consecutive doubles and consecutive weeks with the short game blues. Not so the wily Jacko on his home turf who enjoyed a steady opening over the first 4 holes for 10 points before a bush shot or two contributed to calamities (triples) on the par 4 5th and 8th accepted with great dignity! He's been consistently thereabouts since his recent return with two podiums in the two games he's played.

Straight at it on the home stretch	Woops . . . another tugged left	In the pink, and staring it down

The Little Master was lacking match practice and the sound of balls whacking trees and the sight of balls heading bush prevailed over the first 3 holes before his mojo started to kick in, rattling off 4 bogeys and 2 doubles to put some meat into his score. He and Litts had a similar journey, the Pres also stuttering over the first 3 holes before also carving out 4 bogeys but not adding quite as much meat with a triple at the 7th. Both were hitting some reasonable shots but too often following up with duffers, although Litts was pleased with his putting, enjoying some of the challenges of those greens. Walks was looking assured at the start with that lusty swing and fine tuned putter coughing up 2 bogeys. But in the blink of an eye lust turned to rust as balls careered left and right, a couple smacking into trees dead centre, chips couldn't get airborne and putts fell relentlessly short. It just wasn't his day.

Round Results:
1st: Squancey (18) on countback from . . .
2nd: Dalbs (18)
3rd: Jacko (15)
NTP: Jacko
LD: Dalbs
NAGA: Walks

Tuesday, November 10, 2020
Hamersley, Par

It was wet weather gear in anticipation and we weren't let down, a shower mid-round failing to dampen the enthusiasm of the six starters for the one and only season Par round. Great to welcome Jacko back into the fold and all eyes were out for the Little Master but duty called.

It looked like a steady ship after last weeks tribulations squaring the first, but he took to the trees at the 11th and wiped the hole. Could Litts be plagued by the same demons again? He's a stayer and the swing suddenly clicked, going just 4 strokes over for the next 5 holes. A slight aberration (triple) at the 17th before he came home with bogey, a result which decided the countback. There was some vintage Litts golf along the way, including two delightful chip shots to within "gimmee" distance. Walks had an early stumble with an emphatic wipe to start but then . . . . wham . . . . rattled off some great golf with 3 pars and almost a fourth (missing the putt by "that much") to play the next 5 holes in just three shots over. Must've used up most of his best shots, managing double bogies over the finishing holes to be pipped for the win on countback. And the question on everyone's lips was "Would he go easy on us in his first season outing?" Jacko did just that, bookending his round with pairs of 6's (well, one was a par 5) but over the intervening 5 holes that careful, calculated swing saw him only 3 shots over including 2 pars. It was an opening performance worthy of a podium position, the enforced rest doing his golf no harm.

A slight detour at the 16th, but great recovery	Evidence of at least one ball landing on the fairway and one shot going straight at the 18th

Dalbs has been reasonably steady since his return and today's journey from tee and fairway mainly kept to the same beat. It was some sloppy iron work approaching or around the greens that resulted in 3 wipes from promising opportunities. There's always next week. Squancey was in double trouble early . . . 4 of them over the first 5 holes . . . each coming with a ' – '. Managed to jump on the bogey train over the final 4 holes to stop the rot, claw it back to '– 3', finish the last 2 holes the best out of todays contestants and take out his 4th long drive. And today's NAGA proved a true champion. Scobes rarely took a trick, pummelling quite a few trees, managing the feat with consecutive shots on just the first hole for a wipe. "This could be the first time in the club's history that a '– 9' has been achieved" he muttered before proceeding to square the next with bogey to dash that aspiration. But his journey was littered with many unScobey-like shots that flew in all directions, some fat, some thin, a few flushed (as he was at the 18th) as he strode off muttering "I'll be back".

Round Results:
1st: Litts (+1) on countback from . . .
2nd: Walks (+1)
3rd: Jacko (0)
NTP: Litts
LD: Squancey
NAGA: Scobes

Tuesday, November 3, 2020
Hamersley, Stableford
MELBOURNE CUP

A cool overcast morning for the second running of the GBW Melbourne Cup. A slight spit and drizzle wasn't enough to dampen either the spirits of the 5 strapping stallions out to contest the event nor the even track rated as good. Current form suggested that Litts, Walks and Squancey would start as firm odds-on favourites. Pinky was at long odds given his recent form fluctuations while Dalbs' form was hard to rate given recent absences and a dodgy fetlock.

Pinky stormed out of the gate with 2 bogeys and a par for 8 points after three holes. Was this to be a repeat of his initial Wembley heroics which sadly faded in the home straight? A 7 at the par 4 4th was an ominous sign but he quickly recovered from this brief stumble to charge home just 3 strokes above par over the last 5 including birdie at the 16th ("Quite a long putt . . . but straight in!"). His secret? ("Distribute the weight evenly on the balls of the feet and swing slowly".) Streaked the field . . . and put a wry smile on the handicapper's face! Walks reversed out of the gate limping over the first 2 holes with wipe/double for just 1 point. Steadied over the next two with some booming shots for par at the 13th and repeated the fine stroke play over the final 4 holes to be four shots over and adding a handy 11 points to the tote bag. Dalbs found the finicky fetlock an advantage causing him to swing slowly (heard that before). Drives and irons were going straight(er) and, after an initial par, bogeys dominated the card, only hitting a hurdle at the 17th. If only those long putts would drop.

Ladies violation - not one of his longest drives	Trees sometimes grow in the wrong spot

Squancey's pipped at the post . . . again! After missing the podium by 1 point at Wembley, the swashbuckler was shunted out of the winners circle again by THAT margin. Found the going fairly heavy over the first 6 with doubles on the three hardest holes but proved a strong finisher with par/bogey/bogey producing a healthy 8 points. Litts picked up a bogey at the first and then the rot set in. Try as he might, balls were flying left and right, producing the rare opportunity to witness his ball snuggle gently against a tree at both the 11th and 12th and lodge neatly into the fronds of a native grass tree on the 13th. Unbelievable! It was all too much with the finishing post in sight and two wipes ended a outing he'd rather forget.

Round Results:
1st: Pinky (24)
2nd: Walks (19)
3rd: Dalbs (18)
NTP: Dalbs
LD: Walks
NAGA: Litts
Birdie: Pinky Par 3 16th

Tuesday, October 27, 2020
Wembley, Stableford
WEMBLEY SPRING CLASSIC

A Scobey word . . . It was indeed a classic spring morning on which to contest said trophy. The numbers were scarce due to the advance of time and its interaction with the physical wellbeing of members. However behind the scenes the sounds of recovery could be heard……get on with it!

Pinky bolted out of the blocks and it seemed like the blink of an eye and he was on 16 points with nearly half a round left to play. A birdie on the par 5 11th and two other 4 pointers had him heading for record book territory. More on that later. Walks was away well also and looking good for a great score with 13 points after 4 holes. Litts just slipped into that well known rhythm and racked up the 3’s and a few 2’s to put together an impressive scorecard. Scobes was mixing 2’s and 3’s with some monotony and showing a glimpse (finally) of form, exemplified by a huge swinging putt for par on 14.Squancey started slowly with a couple of double bogeys – though the language was entertaining. He lifted thereafter and ended up on the right side of the card.

Having gone hard early, Brian compounded to score just one point on the last 4 holes, thus snatching the NAGA from the jaws of victory. Litts was the one with the stamina and did not miss a beat after his sound start, finishing with 23 points. Walks tried to go with him but had a couple of stumbles. He hung in well enough though and compiled a creditable 21 points. Scobes held off the fast finishing Squancey by 1 point (20-19).

Round Results:
1st: Litts (23)
2nd: Walks (21)
3rd: Scobes (20)
NTP: Squancey
LD: Walks
NAGA: Pinky

Tuesday, October 20, 2020
Hamersley, Stableford

A Little word . . . It was a beautiful morning not too hot and not too cold. The course is still trying to recover from the sanding so the greens were a little rough exacerbated by plenty of dew. Brian had his usual whinge about the slowness of the greens but he had good reason today. We were down to three players as there was a general exodus to parts far flung and of course the long injury list isn’t getting any shorter. The upside was that today the three of us were guaranteed a podium finish.

Squancey played well today with a good start and a solid finish. He parred two of the first three holes and his putter was running hot. He bogied the difficult last two holes which was a good effort given the conditions. The middle sections weren’t kind to him including two wipes. The Pink one and the Little one played similar rounds. Not a lot to report. There were no wipes and only one par between them.

The day was notable in that neither the NTP nor the LD went off. That doesn’t need any further comment except for one made by one of the greenkeepers. The three participants were waiting to hit off on the par 3, 12th (the NTP hole) because two workers were working on the green. They waved the players up and one of the workers turned to the other and was heard to say “the safest place to stand is right next to the flag”. He had a point.

Pinky generously paid for coffee today. Thanks Brian.

Round Results:
1st: Squancey (19)
2nd: Litts (17)
3rd: Pinky (16)
NTP: No takers
LD: No takers
NAGA: Pinky

Tuesday, October 13, 2020
Hamersley, Par Bisque

A brief report is pending . . . .

Round Results:
1st: Litts (+5)
2nd: Walks (+3)
3rd: Squancey (+1)
NTP: Scobes
LD: Pinky
NAGA: Pinky

Tuesday, October 6, 2020
Sea View, Stableford
ROBIN DALBY SEA VIEW CHAMPIONSHIP

The road to 400

Picture perfect course and conditions greeted six starters for the 8th running of the Championship. It was a later start than usual but a post-round discussion at the pro shop cleared the way for a return to an early start next time which the two resident pros sanction. It seems I missed talking to both of the right people when I booked.

All cheered when Walks presented Macca with his 400 game Certificate and when Walks produced the golf discount books (thanks heaps Walksy). Our Captain had his hands full pre-game, including fielding questions from a group of lady golfers who wanted to know why men (of all people) should be teeing off on ladies day!! The consumate Mr Smooth soon had them swooning at his feet begging forgiveness for being so tetchy.

There's something about Sea View that challenges the notion of a winning score played better than par. In the 8 outings, including todays, the winning score has only equalled or bettered par 3 times – 15 the lowest in 2016-17 (SA); and 22 the highest in 2014-15 (DS) – producing an average Stableford score of 17.6. Today's winner was just off par in a deja vu moment. Dalbs was successful last season with 17 pts just one point clear of second. History repeated today, his success due in significant part to the most unlikely of reasons – some touch with the short game particularly at the 1st, pitching to within a foot for 6 and 3 pts; and at the 9th chipping off an awkward lie to within 2 feet for a 6 and a vital 2 points. They made up for a couple of vain attempts to get out of sand on 2 holes that only produced 1 point. Pinky is becoming a little notorious for his slow starts and was particularly adept at it going round the northern 3-hole stretch, managing just 2 points to be 6 points after the 5th. Don't know how he did it, but with no breeze he still managed to come home over the final four with a wet sail and 10 points including birdie at the 8th after belting his drive to within 5 feet and dropping a curving putt. Still smiling as he left Il Lido!! His fast finish pipped Squancey on countback, the king of the Long Drive also slow out of the blocks before a spirited mid-round that produced 2 pars and 10 points from holes 4 to 7. Ran out of puff toward the end but not before making it 2 podiums in 2 weeks.

Low and a Little off course (at the 4th)	Yipes . . . careful Walks (at the 8th)

Walks struggled in the consistency stakes. His delicate mis-drive from the 2nd tee into the greenside bunker on the 1st hole, followed by a cracking good iron way down the 2nd fairway followed by a pulled iron to join Litts in a green-side bush seemed to typify the trend (but he still scored 2 points). Entertained with those massive drives and, yes, he did clear the bunker at the 8th, but there were just too many doubles/triples. Litts had a horror start. Seemed to be settling into a rhythmical swing but couldn't seem to make solid contact nor control the direction, and putts had an aversion to the hole. Like most, the sand also presented difficulties with the result that his efforts over 5 holes produced just 3 points. But with persistence and technique coming together, he rattled off some good drives and fairway shots to rattle off 3 consecutive bogeys and close with 9 points over the last four holes to win the countforward from . . . Macca. Don't think Macca would consider the hand as a factor. It was just one of those days when your honest efforts seem to go wanting . . . wanting to avoid the doubles and triples that dominated the card. He's due for a turn in golfing fortunes.

Great to see Jacko greeting us in the car park before we headed off for the refreshing we all needed at Il Lido.

Round Results:
1st: Dalbs (17)
2nd: Pinky (16) on countback from . . .
3rd: Squancey (16)
NTP: Squancey
LD: Squancey
NAGA: Macca . . . on countforward from Litts

Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Hamersley, Stroke

Top turnout today in perfect conditions for golf apart from a wee sprinkle (and a sprinkle or two of wee) during the round. Scobes was looking fit (not sure what for) and raring to go and, with hand bandaged and full of cash, Macca was here to play not realising 'til after the round that it was his 400th game! As Walks handed out the score cards, there was a collective sigh of appreciation of another Steve classic cover. The result of the ball toss produced a most unique foursome – four Grahams(Graemes). Needless to say, communication proved a nightmare as did some of the extreme pin placements, presumably associated with the "Sandgroper Open" contested over the weekend. And this group watch helplessly as each saw a putt or two "wriggle" around the hole but fail to drop.

Only one of the a-four-said would make today's podium. Graham Lazarus was the standout, from NAGA last week to a win today. Squancey's only real blemish was a triple on the 11th as he rattled off a par (from a long putt), 6 bogeys (another long putt amongst them) and very few expletives to finish a clear 2 stroke winner – and consecutive Long Drives wins. Dalbs started where he left off last week, missing two putts of less than a metre mixed with indifferent stroke play and had 5 handicap strokes left with 5 to play. Birdie from a long putt sunk from off the green at the 14th and par at 16th gave breathing space and the opportunity for an unconvincing podium place. Pinky was in similar territory, mixing some long drives and irons with a good sprinkling of mishit short shots capped off with another good sprinkling of short putts, a legacy of playing on the slick Royal Fremantle greens. With 6 shots left and 5 holes to go, he summed his round to-date quite eloquently "A sh_t round". Some semblance of balance, 3 bogeys in 3 holes, accompanied him on the road home to secure a third place on countback.

In a spot of trouble after drives at the 14th

The rust didn't show early as Scobes tore out of the blocks with controlled hitting and consecutive pars, his putting a feature which was on show the whole journey. But, as time goes by Scobes, you must remember this, a miss is just a miss, a high is just a high, the fundamental things apply . . . avoid double bogeys!! Macca was up for it! The hand was sore but reportedly didn't affect his game, at least early in the round as he rattled off bogey/double/par/bogey for 4 over after 4. Something hit the fan over 14/15 with quadruple/triple before just missing birdie on the par 3 16th as the putt lipped out. Finished modestly for a respectable score all things considered and rarin' to go next week. Litts had a very mixed morning, starting with the first of his 4 bogeys. Some wayward shots produced a nasty triple at the next followed by par/bogey/bogey and the ship seemed to be righting itself. But the iceberg was lurking, tearing a hole amidships that produced a10 and (shock, horror) almost a club throw!!!! It wasn't his finest hour but he did make it safely to port and appearing to be hitting the ball that Little-bit longer. Walks really did go to boiled lollies after last week's opener, feasting on a host of Triple Treats and a few Little bounces. Couldn't buy a decent fairway wood and was cheerfully resigned to having one of those days on which his mate Macca hit par on both par 3's while he notched up exactly double the strokes on each.

Round Results:
1st: Squancey (Net 34)
2nd: Dalbs (36)
3rd: Pinky (37)
NTP: Litts
LD: Squancey
NAGA: Walks

Tuesday, September 22, 2020
Hamersley, Stableford
SEASON OPENER

Welcome to what promises to be yet another bumper season with a varied set of fixtures and plans afoot for an alternative away competition should Mornington Masters 8 not proceed. The only grey cloud on the horizon is the availability of some players due mainly to injury and also to travel with the associated isolation where that travel is out-of-State. The shadow of COVID still lurks. The opening fixture is setting some records – hitting off from the first tee last season due to course maintenance on the GBW 9; and this year an AGM straight after the round.

Macca made a much welcomed visit to collect the loot and walk with the boys, still hampered a bit by recent hand surgery. All were disappointed that Steve had not recovered sufficiently from a recent operation to play today. Better things to come for both these boys. You'd think the Winter Golf boys would be relishing today's weather – cool with occasional showers. But, apart from one regular, it proved not to be the case, though this is the only character who really made a Jackass of himself . . . .

Today's winner was that one regular (it's the high fibre diet!) on a morning where high scores were rained out. Walks powered off the tee, enjoyed a Little bounce or two, wiped two holes, missed the fairway for his favourite Long Drive and still came out on top, the only player to play to handicap. The Little Master, sporting a niggling knee injury and relishing his new title of grandpa, was striking the ball fairly well considering his long lay-off from the game. Expected a few doubles, which he conveniently made on holes with 2 handicap strokes, but only scored one wipe and kick-started his Eclectic with two pars. The Pres couldn't wait for season start and made a modest beginning with three bogeys. Bit frustrated at the lack of consistency off the tee and fairways with no greens reached in regulation and couldn't sink a putt, the result being a few doubles on the way to finally hitting his only clean shot of the day – his approach onto the 18th green!

One struck not fairly well	Straight at it	Under the gaze of the course controller

Dalbs created his own nightmare. Wayward off three tees and a few fairways but still managed to get the ball to within 2 to 3 feet of the hole on four greens for attempts at comfortable bogies . . . and missed the lot! The Tom Watson school of putting would've delisted him. And the other Winter Golf boys? Brian was having a field day off the tees, his solid hitting square off the club face a feature, but was dogged by problems with chipping around the greens frustratingly unable to finish off the good starts. Squancey was belting some long drives and irons and also started modestly with three bogeys. Was a bit more erratic as the round progressed, the mishits also exercising the vocal cords. Also struggled a bit with the chipping and staggered home with a series of doubles and triples.

After a rusty start, the sextet were off to the AGM Sprig Room to be greeted by the three wise men . . .

Round Results:

1st: Walks (18 pts)
2nd: Little Master (17) on countback from
3rd: Litts (17)
NTP: Walks
LD: Squancey
NAGA: Squancey . . on count forward from Pinky