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Weekly Reports: Season 2017–18 Your report fast track . . .
Tuesday, February
13, 2018 Mild mannered Macca reports . . . Just five starters, but oh the quality! Another perfect golf day - 18 degrees with no wind. As we teed off, a group of three interlopers approached, so the first three GBWers to tee off became the first group and the latter two, Dennis and Chris, played together. Let's look at the par threes: Scobes managed two pars; Walks and Squancy three points each; Jacko just two points, and Macca one measly point. Scobes was the only one to actually achieve a 'greenie' and a well-deserved NTP. (Ed. What is so hard about a simple 140 to 160 metre straight shot without intervening bunkers?). Next, who achieved pars? Walks, three; Scobes, two, with one wipe; Squancy, and Jacko, one, with one wipe; Macca, none, with two wipes. Walks and Scobes went home reasonably satisfied; the other three not so much! Overall, Walks had a clear win with a masterful return to form and 22 points. Squancy, vociferously responding to the odd less than satisfying shot, still managed 19 points and second position. Third place was a fairly consistent Scobes, with 17 points. Jacko, playing off an eight handicap, scored just 13 points and Macca, equally vociferous but with good reason really deserved the NAGA title with 12 points, despite playing off a 15 handicap. Apres golf coffee was notable for one hundred percent participation and the excited chatter about what preparations each had in mind to surprise their wives for Valentine's Day on the morrow.
Tuesday, February
6, 2018 The Championship weather gods were smiling; Pinky was the only contender from last week missing; and Little Master was all smiles and yet to fly off to Un Zud as previously mis-reported. Jacko was peacefulness personified and it felt comfortable being back on the familiar back nine track for the closing championship holes. The Captain tossed the balls, formed the two groups and was politely informed that the order was actually dictated by mid-Championship scores. But Wily Walks was one step ahead, noting that the groups were how they'd work out based on scores to-date. That's why he's the Captain!! Jacko was immediately into "steady" "take-no-chances" "keep your head down" "don't do anything silly" mode, puttering along over the first 4 with a modest procession of bogeys before the unthinkable . . . 2 successive doubles . . . before settling back into steady mode to finish. But it was those 3 three-putts along the way that caused the heart palpitations. Just one more and the Championship could've had a different ending . . . because . . . behind him lurked the Silent Assassin. "The names Scoble. Dennis Scoble" as he quietly blew a whiff of smoke off the head of his driver. Keen to divert the curious from his secret mission, he threw a double blind over the first 2 holes (triple and double). With no spy groups visible behind, he drew out the Beretta Driver, Walther PPK irons and deadly Heckler and Koch putter, shooting round the remaining holes just 2 over – a birdie (after sinking a long putt from off the green at 16), 3 pars and 3 bogeys! – for a net 31! It was a mighty effort making up 6 strokes on the half-way leader but falling 1 agonising shot short of forcing a play-off. CONGRATULATIONS CHRIS ON YOUR MAIDEN CHAMPIONSHIP WIN.
Squancey and Macca tied for the third podium spot but Squancey got the nod. He had a very up-'n-down first 4 holes, using up 9 of his 11 handicap strokes aided by a disastrous 10 at the par 5. But we know his great fighting qualities and he flew home, being just 4 shots over for the last 5 holes. Macca was 4-lorn, finishing the day 15 shots over on the five par 4's and just 3 over on the remaining 4 holes to book-end his rounds – two net 40's. At least Dalbs (down 9 shots) and Walks (down 5) made noticeable improvements from the previous week and were happy (?) to share equal billing at the tail end of the field (of dreams). For Little Master, it was either Sydney or the (Un Zud) bush. Unfortunately his visits to the bush produced 2 quadruples, sufficient to take out the day's one and only NAGA before flying out in the afternoon to real Un Zud bush.
Round Results
Tuesday, January
30, 2018
Pinky vs Squancey: It was a fascinating contest from the start as Brian rapidly set the pace immediately going 2-up. Over the next three, first Squancey then Brian then Squancey had wins and, after squaring the par 5 6th, Brian sat 1-up. But he fractured an eyebrow at the 7th and Squancey had the match back to square. It seems fractured eyebrows are contagious as Squancey ran up a quadruple on the second easiest 8th hole to go 1-down and, after squaring the last, Brian was into his first Match Play Final in (reportedly) his first ever involvement in Match Play, CONGRATULATIONS.
Despite the thrust and parry of Match Play, three of the four participants were lining up behind the Club Championship halfway leader Jacko. He was the only one to break net 40 after some neat play off the tee and, believe it or not, with the short stick after plundering some fine middistance putts. His purple streak, going par over holes 5 to 7 really set him up. It'll take some fine play to catch him for the title. Scobes isn't looking to pull it off, a series of pull shots into trouble hindering his progress but would've attracted the eye of the Scorchers recruiter. Dalbs claims to have been badly affected by the Super Blue Blood Moon, not that he was howling or anything – just putting in a heliotrope performance. Leaderboard at halfway:
Results to be officially recorded:
Wednesday, January
24, 2018 A balmy morning and 8 barmy golfers gathered at the spectacular Joondalup Golf Course to contest the 8th running of the Classic. Today it was over the Dunes/Lakes courses. While we didn't have the option of playing Dunes due to course maintenance, it's interesting to note that the Quarry/Dunes combination was ranked 7th in the top 100 golf courses as judged by the 2018 Golf Course Guide. To wax lyrical of this great layout, one minute you're thrashing your way through steep limestone quarries and the next skirting ( hopefully avoiding) picturesque lakes. We all look forward to the experience although, today, a few came off the worse for wear. Pinky showed no signs of wear or tear other than his ability to tear around the course often with powerful, well-targeted shots, particularly off the tees. We think he likes this course, a journey that he was thinking his way carefully around. Had a few more putts not fallen agonisingly short, his winning margin could've been even bigger. But it was big enough to head off the Silent Assassin. Scobes had his moments in the rough and the sand but he still quietly amassed the points keeping mostly out of trouble and out of the quarries while Jacko had an eclectic mix of great drives, some wayward irons and a few dodgy putts but he remains a fine example the way he strives to make every shot a winner whether or not they execute as planned. While the three boys were having their day in the sun, Dalbs was having one mainly in the shade. That wretched ball wouldn't fly straight. Never seen so many in long grass, bouncing off quarry walls or ring barking trees.
Our lead group were having a mixed day. Walks was a slow starter, undoubtedly affected by the week off slumming it in Sydney but finished with a wet sail including potting a 20-footer from off the green to grab a point. His travelling partner Macca was a slow starter and a slow finisher undoubtedly still recovering. Did have a highlight to bring him back – another 20-foot putt which Results:
Tuesday, January
16, 2018 Only drowned rats and Aussie golfers go out in a morning storm. But, after non-stop rain the day before, the weather had exhausted itself and conditions were perfect. There were no drowned rats and only three golfers (well, two as it turned out) on a morning when the words "Match Play Semi's" were taboo.
The first hole said it all – Squancey - Par; Jacko - double bogey; Dalbs - quadruple bogey and the leaf blower always one hole behind. Both Squancey and Jacko were having their highs and lows with great drives, some miscued irons, a little bush walking and a couple of pars thrown in. But consistency wasn't the buzz word and the weather wasn't to blame. Dalbs was obviously struggling under the weight of being outnumbered and carrying the pride of the North of the River boys, or was just struggling. But the company was great and the walk very refreshing. Our collective form doesn't auger well for tackling the challenges of Joondalup, but that's for another day.
Results:
Tuesday, January
9, 2018
A perfect morning for golf and a BIG occasion for one of our number. The Certificate was hidden and, while 5 others gathered at the 10th, the BIG occasion number was missing! Where was the 300 game Walks? Did he know and was staging a dramatic entrance? Perhaps his comment after cruising calmly up to the tee at the last gasp said it all "300 games? Who? Me?". Macca did the presentation honours brilliantly. CONGRATULATIONS WALKSY. His recent form has been steadily building, highlighted most recently by a very handy round at challenging Royal Fremantle going par with 94 off-the-stick on a 22 handicap. It took Pinky a little time today to settle after such heroics before careering home over the final four holes just 1 shot over! His +4 (down from a +7 at presentations time) earned him a great win. The Handicapper was wringing his hands in glee. Jacko was dynamic off the tee, dainty off the fairways and deadly (well, almost) on the greens, his fine +2 just reward. The Handicapper's hands were wearing thin! Walks was determined to celebrate his 300th game but wasn't fully awake until halfway through the round. Like Pinky, Walks also came home with a wet sail playing the final four just 1 shot over and claiming a +4 in a last ditch bid to finish second. But all the confusion came down to Brian, Walks and Squancey believing the day was a Stroke competition and so they had to recalculate their scores on a Par basis. And then the Ronzo-effect kicked in, a recheck of the cards later confirming that our winner's +7 was in fact +4, while Wily Walks's +4 dwindled to "square" with Jacko lodged firmly in between.
Results:
Tuesday, January
2, 2018
Another first for GBW . . . a qualifying fixture at the Point Walter Golf Course, part of Jacko's expansive back yard. All enjoyed the course and found it an interesting experience (e.g. the trees are just as easy to hit as those at Hamersley). There were six teeing up on a still, balmy morning with promise of a boutique breakfast to follow. Resident course expert Jacko flew out of the blocks with a carefully crafted one-and-only par. His driving was a feature but a few fairway irons got away. Though used to the seemingly fast greens, still watched scornfully (as did the rest of us) as carefully crafted chips kept on keeping on. But off the tee and around the greens helped him to a winning score and kept his reputation intact. Despite embracing a tree every second fairway and enduring problems with those fast and turning greens (2 birdie putts on par 4 ended in 5's), Pinky managed to rattle home with 10 points over the last 4 holes to clinch second while Mild Mannered Macca was busy lauding his Long Drive success, his par on the 2nd, the fact that he was the only one in his group not to hit the middle fairway tree on 7th, and his podium placing.
Dalbs, who now has an eye for golf, seemed confused. Was hitting short, high approach shots off the tee and long drives to the green. It was a bit of a slug-fest but at least he didn't hit the tree on 7th (yep, landed too short). Walks wasn't experiencing his finest hour (or two) but did maintain his love affair with the par 3 6th. In a previous round, he'd lodged his drive 2 inches from the pin for a glorious birdie while today he walked away with par during an up-and-down round. There was a rumour Squancey had overimbibed on the Christmas Pudding or perhaps it was just one of those days. Two things were for sure – never seen so many 1 point holes on the one card and Ronzo has competition in the belly roar stakes. Had one fond memory – hitting that tree on 7th! But, heck, who cares about golf when there's a gourmet breakfast on offer. Coffee followed by delicious bacon and egg burgers with all the salad and sauce trimmings and he'd done it again, on budget and on time! Thank you Chris – a perfect finish to a great morning.
Results:
Wednesday, December
27, 2017
Pinky, Jacko and Squancey were the three on the tee, and the first order of business was to change the name from GBW to GBE (Golf Before Everything is a much more relevant mission statement). Squancey was apparently out to obliterate the opposition with 15 points after 6 holes but a mid term slump saw him turn with 17 and give the others a sniff. Pinky opened with a 4 pointer but 3 wipes hampered his scoring on the front nine and he posted 15 at the half way. Jacko struggled early with 5 points after 5 holes but then steadied to turn with 15. After the tenth, Jacko was sharing the lead with Squancey on 18 and after the eleventh Pinky was sharing the lead with Jacko on 20. The slow greens were taking their toll though and that was the end of Jacko. Squancey rallied a little but it was Pinky who poured on the pressure with a 4 at the last to take the honours with 34. Squancey put in another second with 31 and Jacko took the remaining podium position with 28. Somebody had to be NAGA also so Jacko took one for the team. The only real excitement happened as we were walking down the 14th fairway past the fifteenth green. There was loud chatter from the group on the fifteenth tee – somebody had just knocked one in.
Results:
Tuesday, December
19, 2017
Actually, none of the famous five really hit their straps despite a pleasant temperature and just a little wind, probably as a result of wayward consumption over the weekend. Everyone had trouble with the slow greens, a characteristic apparently caught from Brian who continued his recent shortish form. Brian was also short on quite a few approaches but he cut loose and won the long drive and had some nice straight drives off the tee along the way to end up with 17 stableford points. Squancy performed brilliantly on the nearest-the-pin 16th with a very near miss NTP which he converted to the easiest of birdies.He was uncharacteristicaly wayward with the odd drive and second shot but managed to compile an acceptable 45 off the stick and an 18 point podium finish which should bring him back hungry next week. Chris and Macca each wiped the dog-leg 14th, catching the inevitable bunker, and that contributed to Jacko’s NAGA (16 points) and Macca’s mere second place on 19 points. Chris managed a notional 47 off the stick, only let down by the failure to adjust to the tricky greens, and Macca’s notional 48 enable him to continue the downward spiral of his handicap. Walks matched the Squance 45 off the stick and despite a couple of one-pointers to start he rattled home with a creditable 22 stableford points, including three pars, to add to his Spring Classic win! A couple of brilliant second shots to the green with The Driver were a feature of his game. But let’s not forget the real reason for getting out of bed early today: our thanks to Ronzo for the Christmas presents and paraphenalia that were gratefully accepted by the five attendees. We found a place in the sun for a pleasant breakfast watched over by a highly urbanised attack kookaburra that had been terrorising diners during the morning. We toasted absent friends with coffees...sorry you couldn’t be there guys!
Results:
Tuesday, December
12, 2017 It's a fun thing, except for Ronzo of course ("Par what??") but he was unfortunately absent and long explanations weren't required meaning we could tee off on time! Top-form-Tom had come to play. Kept the driver in the bag and hit crisp, accurate drives with the trusty 3-wood to initiate a great round that was only 5 strokes over for his 8 best holes resulting in 7 "+'s" on the card. Macca continued his fine form also notching 7 "+'s" in an unbroken stretch from holes 1 to 7 (and just 5 shots over!!). Went a bit wobbly over the closing stretch but did enough to just pip Pinky whose card was a mirror image of Maccas – 2 wipes followed by 6 consecutive +'s. The trio were having a field day, Macca the only one to finish with unused handicap strokes (2).
The two Grahams had an interesting tussle on the scoreboard. Squancey played another consistent round to handicap but didn't have sufficient points to cover the 3 double bogey holes while Walks had sufficient to cover a couple of his but 3 real outlier holes undid the good work. Jacko was either boom or bust, his game finding too many ways to double bogey which Results:
Tuesday, December
5, 2017 A perfect weather start to Summer with conditions ideal for high scoring. An even 8 players were keen to win today's Major. We were only missing a couple of sticks of chalk!
Jacko and Dalbs joined the workers in the first group and the opening three holes produced some terrific golf . . . almost. Squancey was hammering powerful straight drives in an impressive display of three straight pars followed four holes later by a birdie. Just faltered on two holes with triples but, despite these, still returned a "near miss" 18 points. Little Master had a similar round, his drives and irons "crisp and straight as" and a high score looked ominous but for some mid-round trouble and he too settled for the "near miss" score. Dalbs was also quickly out of the blocks but a tad more wayward, able to still cadge points through lucky lies or some effective chip shot (yes, you heard right!). It seemed an unspectacular round but when his points were tallied . . . And Jacko? Seems he had a hangover from last week, squirting and spraying shots everywhere. When someone reminded him at the 5th tee that it wasn't Match Play this week, the old Jacko returned cruising over the next 5 holes in just 4 shots over and collecting 11 of his 14 points! Seems Macca was still in the birthday spirit with an early flourish before the effects of a week of hard partying snuck in on a couple of holes. Nevertheless he all but played to handicap and was a happy man. When asked about Scobes today, he was described as solid. Not sure what they were referring to – him or his golf! He certainly knocked out a solid mid-round but the solid wipe at the 11th must've hurt. Unlike Jacko, Pinky rocketed away over the first two holes, standing on the 3rd tee with 6 points. When someone reminded him that it wasn't Match Play, he relaxed leaving a few too many putts just short and wiping a couple of holes putting a dent in his final score. Walks set out to try and prove that trees are 90% air but failed, apparently. Results:
Tuesday, November
28, 2017 A cool, crisp, ideal morning to celebrate the joyous occasion of our very first club Septuagenarian. Macca turned 70 just 2 days before and everyone was out to get him. And a rampant Pinky, fresh from his opening Match Play victory, was keen to do it again against Mr Consistent. Everyone has high hopes . . . Macca was the epitomy of relaxation. He cruised away in a slash-and-burn opening burst that saw him just 1 shot over after 3 holes, including a birdie at the par 3 3rd (and the NTP). We thought he'd opened the door with a few doubles but it was all wishful thinking as he powered his way home, completing the treble by adding to his NTP the longest drive win and an impressive round win. CONGRATULATIONS AND belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY Macca. Match Play
Jovial (In-Form) Jacko was up against Bruiser (In-Form) Brian and the tension was palpable with Jacko giving his opponent 8 strokes. But, from the start, something was seriously astray, particularly the serious series of uncharacteristic worm burners and bush seekers from Jacko. Meanwhile Bruiser was keeping mainly to the fairways and, in the blink of three holes, was 3-up. Jacko's double on the 4th was enough to square the hole while his birdie on the next clawed it back to 2-down (it was that sort of day). Bruiser dealt the final blows over the next two, both playing impressive golf, but Brian had strokes in the bag to win the holes and seal the win. It was coffee and eats wih a difference after the round with Septuagenarian Macca and Jeannie hosting a delicious breakfast at Crowcombe Castle . . .
Results:
1st: Macca (Net 31)
Tuesday, November
21, 2017 Another magnificent morning heralded Lea's birthday and we were of to Bunkers Cafe for coffee and Settlers Tavern in Margaret River . . . oops, this is meant to be the golf column. But still a magnificent morning for golf and that punishing novelty event – Modified Stableford. One of the features of this briefly reported round was the neck and neck struggle to the line between Jacko and Scobes, both convinced one of their scores would make it a contest to take the win. After all, Jacko eventually careered home with a fine knock of 42 off-the-stick, including a birdie on the second hardest 13th, for 6 points while Scobes took only 45 strokes (including 3 pars) and notched 7 points. Little did we know that the Squancanator had already posted the winning score and taken out his 4th Modified Stableford win in as many seasons!! The lad also carved out 42 off-the-stick including 4 pars, 3 of them in a withering finish that produced a runaway score of 11 points. Match Play
Results:
Tuesday, November
7, 2017 Magnificent morning for golf – cool, relatively calm . . . but starting out wet. Yep, sprinklers were full pelt on the 10th giving everyone time to sort out Match Play and handicaps. Squancey seemed a little hesitant when challenged by Scobes to play their match but was all smiles after the round. Where was Pinky? Why was the Captain out of uniform (no cap)? And a bit way into the round, where were the NTP/LD flags? After a hole or two, these questions were answered – Pinky was waiting patiently at Wembley; and the flags were waiting patiently in the Captain's car boot along with his cap! Never a dull moment at the GBWGC. Of the seven attendees, only Jacko was exempt from today's Match Play – an eclectic mix of Rounds 1 and 2. And he appeared to enjoy the absence of "pressure", a steady round of only 6 shots over for 8 holes punctuated by a nasty triple at the par 3 16th. Mr Consistent has now chalked up 6 podium places in 7 starts! MATCH PLAY
Macca vs Little Master. What a sensation this match turned out to be. LM was giving Macca 3 strokes, but with a steady start he immediately went 1-up. Steady Macca won back the second and both squared the third after recovering from wayward tee shots. "We're making a game of this" declared Macca. "We're doing it for the cameras" came the reply. Macca went 1-up at the 13th helped by an extra stroke but LM's steady game saw him claw back to be 1-up striding onto the 17th tee. Macca had an extra shot on the last two holes, squaring the match after both shot 6's. "What the TV loves to see. All square at the 8th" observed LM. "Broadcasting to 1 million in India; 12 in Oz" said Macca before contesting a classic final hole. By the time both were within 30m of the flag, Macca lay 3 to LMs 2, effectively on equal footing. Calm as you please, Macca clutched his trusty pitching iron and – "thunk", "phweee", "pmffff", "rattle" – he'd clubbed it onto the green and watched it roll straight into the cup. AMAZING! To his great credit, Little Master, though completely non-plussed, pitched his onto the green and putted in for par, a score that would otherwise have taken some beating. "What the TV loves to see. Drama at the 8th" someone observed. "Broadcasting to 1 million in Australia; 12 in India" came the reply.
Squancey vs Scobes. Only 1 handicap stroke separated the two but, after squaring the 1st, it became mostly 1 shot separating the two over the next 4 holes. And they were all in Squancey's favour as he plugged away with a few mishits while Scobes fell into a "pulling the ball left" rut. It was a telling time, "tugger" now 4-down with 4 holes to play. His long putt to square the 6th couldn't save the match but it was the start of a rally that came too late.
Tuesday, October
31, 2017 Beautiful one day, perfect the next. And it would've been picture perfect for golf . . . if we were allowed into the course. Some of our early brethren breezed through the open gate while the slightly later members pulled up to a closed gate, all with mystified looks. "Where's Macca?" cried the lynch mob. Joe Public phoned the Pro Shop and saved the day (and Macca's reputation) and one happy group gathered at the 10th on Old Course to commence hostilities. As Cadet Chris observed . . . The Golden Putter may have finished last week but the Phantom was determined to show that he is the real putting maestro in the club: 10th - 1 foot putt for birdie, 11th - 10 foot putt for birdie, 12th - 3 foot putt for par (4 points), 13th - 2 foot putt to salvage a point, 15th - 3 foot putt to salvage some pride and 18th - 12 foot putt for par (4 points). In between he showed a small glimmer of the mortal that he is by 2 putting the other 3 holes. Macca the workhorse (Hero) stayed close to the Phantom (as he does), and caught him after 7 holes, but faltered in the hard ride up the 17th while Jacko (Devil) after a slow start was nipping at the Phantom’s heels on the 18th tee, but couldn’t keep up in the run home and showed that the putting prowess over the previous two weeks was really an aberration. Scobes was the epitome of patient persistence, whacking his way in unassuming fashion mostly along the grassed bits. When he occasionally strayed, he hit himself back into contention in crafty fashion to quietly amass an "all-but" winning score. He just keeps on keeping on. Pinky, fresh from last week's warm-up, quickly made his mark with par (4 points). Apart from a wayward triple on the 12th, he'd played the first 5 holes in fine style, just 5 strokes over and 15 points. Inexplicably, it became a "tugger war" over the closing holes, drives and fairway shots often flying left of target as the points dried up. Dalbs obviously got up too early, taking 5 wayward holes to wake before scoring 62.5% of his points over a much improved final 4 holes.
Squancey, Ronzo and Little Master looked back on their fortunes resigned to the fact "I don't think the winner will come from this group". Despite each having their struggles, Squancey and Ronzo mostly mid-round while LM was up and down like a fiddlers elbow, there were some noteworthy efforts. Squancey was up to his old tricks, chipping in with the Texas wedge from 10 ft off the green at the 11th, and then making a bold bid to take over the mantle of "waking the neighbours" with an impressive AAAAGGGHHHHHH after an 8 on the par 4 14th. At the opening hole, Ronzo belted a screamer to within 100m as his partner commented "And your on a 14 handicap??" (Shortly after, Walks blasted a monster to within 50m of the green!). Ronzo's joy was short lived, having played his 4th shot by the time he'd reached Squancey and Tom's first shots! Little Master's one claim-to-fame came at the par 3 13th. a not unlucky number as he proceeded to sink a monster putt and ensure all three played the hole in 4 shots. But for Walks it was all smiles . . . his first Wembley Spring Classic success. CONGRATULATIONS!!
Tuesday, October
24, 2017 One out, three in. Little Master was called away and it took three to fill his shoes! The gardening guru was back (thankfully) and there were the season first-timers – fresh from the high seas, Brian "Blackbeard" (though somewhat of a misnomer) Pink; and stale from child minding, Dennis "(Lolli)Pop" Scoble. The trio greatly enhanced the superior numbers of club "grey-top" golfers. It all made for a full house – 8 starters with 5 vying for Golden Putter honours. With Binningup approaching, members were getting restless. How to get the Great Man's handicap down. After a neat 1-putt and bogey on the first, Ronzo steadied with a quadruple at the 11th. Could it be this obvious? Obviously not, the man reigning in his round going only 7 shots over for the next 7 holes dotted with two 3-putts. And, much to the Handicapper's delight, all our prayers were answered but not before Ronzo had his first season win. The umbilical brothers played out a closely fought contest. Early season form had seen Squancey quick out of the blocks but somehwat wobbly toward the end in a series of "what could've been" rounds. But today he made amends with a stronger finish to just edge out that mercurial podium pest Jacko. Yep, he's still remains a pest and it could've been more rewarding but for his shots off the fairway. "Never seen him play so badly off the fairway" remarked the Phantom, which goes to show just how good Jacko's short game can be the way he recovered from the mid-hole woes. It was so good, in fact, that his 15 putts to match his 15 first round putts (he's not Mr Consistent for nothing) earned him his second Golden Putter win. CONGRATULATIONS JACKO!
Macca was a welcome sight, the efforts of his personal masseuse paying big dividends as that free wheeling style and spirit produced some fine shots mixed with a little disappointment about his efforts with the short stick (apart from two 1-putts at the close!). Dalbs, Walks and Scobes were the victims of "messy" holes. Dalbs' wayward style, once off the tee and once around a green, cost quadruples on 2 holes, travelling the other 7 in 7 shots over. Scobes was in similar vein, shooting a quadruple and two triples mixed in with some very useful efforts that took him only 4 over for the other 6 holes. Walks fired an early warning – a birdie and 1 putt at the first – but then fell into a series of double bogies and 3-putts, rounding off his morning with triple, that after a mighty heave to secure his second long drive this season. After a period of golfing Lent, Pinky was 3 shots to the wind and a few to the trees. But, despite his sundry transgressions, he thumped some fine drives and irons that hinted at another "boiled lollies to chocolates" effort that we witnessed last year.
Results:
Tuesday, October
17, 2017 It was the strangest thing. No, not Ronzo being the first of the GBWs to arrive in the early glow under overcast skies. It was Ronzo being the first vehicle in the car park sitting there all on his lonesome. The other earlybird Jo Publics were nowhere to be seen and, surprisingly, it remained that way – even after we'd teed off! There were six to contest the 2017 Golden Putter on ideal greens fit for purpose, and no delays off the 1st tee. Walks (with naked knees) was experiencing the highs and lows of golf – bogey/triple/par/triple . . . 2 putt/1 putt/3 putt – and, by the 6th hole declared "I dunno what I'm doing here. I'm not in contention". Having got that off his chest, he sauntered through the last three holes with 2 birdies and a bogey and just 3 putts!! At the 8th and lying two in thickish grass 10m off the green, he calmly thumped it 15m into the hole to romp home and take the Golden Putter lead at the half way mark while almost pipping Mr Consistent for the round win. Jacko was doing what he seems to do best, travelling mainly par (3 of them) or bogey. Did strike a bit of trouble with 2 doubles, but with 3 one-putts and no 3 putts, his short game was holding him in good stead and ensured the round win today, something that was ordained after a third then a second over the opening rounds.
Dalbs, Little Master and Ronzo were having their own little 3-way duel in not dissimilar ways – skewing drives into the bush; belting cracking good 3-woods down the middle; duffing mid-irons; landing some clutch putts. As usual, Ronzo was in the thick of the action, giving up trying to score after stuffing up a few holes with wrong numbers; ruing a 9 on the par 5 6th; finessing 4 one-putts with quiet and assured confidence; belting a wayward drive into the practice area at the 9th; and displaying "deft" touch (according to TLM) with some of his approach shots. At the end, the three could only be separated by countback. And it was left to Squancey to save our bacon, continuing the season pattern of sharing the dreaded NAGA. The lad's having a somewhat frustrating start, in some cases careering out of the blocks but fading on the home stretch. It was a bit similar today, getting off to a great start and putting well. It was just the two holes that got away (quadruple and triple) that created a bit of Results:
Tuesday, October
10, 2017 It was a grey, windswept greeting in the Sea View car park as seven hopefuls crawled out of their cars and stomped down to the 1st tee for the ceremonial ball toss. Defending champion Steve looked supremely confident while the other six looked supremely confident. Mind you, confidence is a great asset but open to undermining by stealth in this unpredictable game of golf. Steve was so relaxed, he even declined the usual worker's first group. A few light, brief showers didn't detract from a good morning for a championship, only the absence of a few of the lads for a variety of reasons. Slammin' Steve gave an early ominous sign, starting with his trademark wallops and par. But, wait, he's wiped the next in uncharacteristic fashion. The 'early ripe, early rotten" theory soon disappeared, though, as he steadied the ship before a mini-slump before coming home in grand hard hitting style over the final 3 holes with 10 points, including a 10 ft putt from a metre off the green at the 8th for birdie, crushing the hopeful's hopes and cementing himself as the King of Sea View. CONGRATULATIONS STEVE. Jacko too crafted a fine par on the opening par 5 hole before rattling off three more 5's, one a par 3 which signalled a small slump as the short game hiccuped. Got somewhat back in a groove with not quite that silky Jacko touch, but still did enough to cement a second placing ahead of three battlers – the Little Master, Dalbs and Squancey. The trio had markedly different rounds, TLM striking trouble and a few mishits on 3 holes for 3 wipes yet striking some mighty fine golf shots in between, none better than his two tee shots on the par 3's, each finishing around 5 ft and 3 ft (got the second for birdie) to score half his points on just these holes and consolidate the countback success. Dalbs ran partly hot (early for 8 points on three consecutive holes) but mainly cold, spraying shots left and right including a drive that should've bounced off Marine Parade and into the deep blue sea but was found a metre inside the fence?! Squancey kept thereabouts but couldn't buy a 3-pointer to offset the mandatory wiped hole, instead bouncing between 1 and 2 points per hole for his determined efforts.
Ronzo had a somewhat torrid time. He launched into some huge drives and capitalised on each of them with 3-point finishes on the 2nd, 5th and 9th. And in between? Let's just say he enjoyed the walk and conversation. And Walks contributed to a disturbing pattern, a winner last week (as was Tom the week before) and NAGA today (as was Tom last week)! Watch out Steve. Results:
Tuesday, October
3, 2017 No rain, cool breeze, sunshine and six. Well, almost 5 ("Where's Walks"?) but the Captain made a well-timed arrival and the true game of golf was on . . . Stroke! There were two significant matters to note: The absence of the Allardices whose presence was missed; and there was a change of supporters . . . Walks had dispensed with the knee braces (no kidding!) while gardening guru Macca donned the Walks was immediately out of the blocks with a towering drive (one of many) of around 200m. Finished off his great start with par and continued that fine form over the next 3 holes to add 2 more pars and be just 1-over. Those knee braces had obviously been a hindrance. Struck trouble and some trees over three of the next 5 holes but his fine start set him up for a countback against . . . the number 5. Yes, Squancey got into a groove, rattling off six consecutive 5's (a guaranteed two pars!). Slipped up on the par 3 16th with a 4 before it was back with a 5 on 17th. "It's that bl__dy 18th that kills me!" and it happened again, a quadruple to finish after a triple the previous week and Walks snuck home on countback. The gardening guru was hot-to-trot over the first 3, shrugging off last week's Hamersley 'blues' and showing glimpses of that old Collier form raking in a string of bogey's. The middle stretch proved a hard road to hoe but he pruned it back digging deep with shear determination and lopping 10 strokes off last week's round to stake a claim for third. He did it in spades!
Dalbs had trouble off the tee early, then trouble off the fairways middle, then trouble on the greens toward the end. Tried to put the 3-putts down to the slick Pt Walter greens the fortnight before but was just laughed at. This golf's a tough gig. Jacko wondered why he'd got out of bed, mishitting shots and bouncing off trees over the first for an opening triple. Unfazed, he fought hard to claw back 4 bogeys and a par to be shaping up for another tilt at the podium. But this golf's a bl__dy tough gig, the lad going somewhat AWOL as a triple and two doubles over the closing holes sank the ship. "And the first will be last" (Matthew 19:30). And so it came to pass. The Little Master chose the wayward path, did truly drift from a righteous score on three holes and did the most sordid things with the short stick. His salvation was his strength – refraining from obscenities, weeping and gnashing of teeth. All will be forgiven next week.
Results:
Tuesday, September
26, 2017
His opening drive was crisp and clean though a little right but he skillfully negotiated par. And, for all but one wiped hole, the Little Master produced a range of crisp and clean strokes some still inexplicably drifting right and costing the odd extra shot. But it was a fine winning round, only 7 shots over for his 8 best holes. As the Captain observed: "Toms having a great season". The Great Man declared that he'd been helped by his handicap (which the Handicapper has duly revised!) and a superb birdie on the 16th for 5 points making up for 3 "blow out" holes, one of which was the 11th – no one saw where his drive went! His three 3-point holes helped him sneak into second spot just ahead of the Jacko. Chris had mixed success but very little with the short stick. As someone observed: "He couldn't putt for nuts!" which Jacko put down to coming off slick Pt Walter greens the week before. With 11 points after 7 holes, he was lying 2 and 20 metres from the green. "Had trouble parring this all year" he declared to Ronzo. "And you're still having trouble" came the reply. Upon which he proceeded to pitch the ball into the hole for birdie and 4 points before a closing 3-pointer put respectability into his final (3rd placing) score.
Walks and Steve played out a 16-point draw, both having somewhat slow starts but coming home over the last 5 holes with identical stroke scores. Walks also claimed the Pt Walter-inspired putting woes while it was fantastic to have Stevie gracing the Hamersley fairways. He loved the par 3's, parring each (at 3 points a pop). Squancey was rattling off mainly bogeys and a string of six successive 2-point holes with some hard hitting golf. He looked the goods until . . . that inexplicable . . . and everyone shot through after the game. Pat was mortified (apart from the sale of one sausage roll). Results:
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Round Results
Club Champion: CHRIS JACKSON
A chippy morning with some already in vests and others donning wet weather tops to ward off the brisk breeze. The Allardice boys were understandably absentees as was Little Master who's been running the marriage marathon, flying off to Un Zud where he's now enjoying an Indian Hangi. That left 7 to contest the 2018 Club Championship. Defending champion Walksy looked a little beaten up, not quite the ideal situation going into the Championship as well as a Match Play Semi, but he wasn't offering excuses. Appears he may have TFCC (Triangular Fibrocartilage Complex) which a technical source says is " . . . wrist pain on the little pinky finger side." Speaking of which, Pinky and Squancey were also facing up in the other Match Play Semi. It was to be quite a round.
he too sank for a point. Squancey was Mr Erratic once he'd powered some great drives away but no audible cries of angst were heard by the trailing group while Little Master had a great first 9 with every drive straight and true but he seemed to tire over Dunes, particularly of the phone calls. 
Macca, Squancey and Dalbs were much more chummy on the scoreboard. There were errant drives, miscued irons, putts too short or too long – they had the lot between them – finally crossing the finishing line all -2. At least Squancey got the calculation of his par score correct, even if it meant winning the NAGA countback (Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!)
Pre-settlement, the Point Walter area was inhabited by the Beeliar people, who were part of the Whadjuk Noongars. They knew Point Walter as Dyoondalup, meaning in the Noongar language "Place of Long Flowing White Hair" or "Place of white sand". The sandbar is prevalent in the Dreamtime of the local Aboriginals who believed the sandbar was the hair of the Dreamtime figure Djunda.
There was a 50% turn-up, all on time, for the 2017 Christmas Cup and what a class field it was - three Gras, a Brian and a Chris. Because we had no one behind us, a confident fivesome set out together and some reasonable scores resulted, despite the disasterously slow greens.
makes it difficult on a 9 handicap. Dalbs was out of the blocks and +2 after 5 holes with 5 shots still in the bank. And 2 of them stayed their as balls flew into stymied lies and copious rough . . . AAAggghhhhhhh
"Never hit so many trees before" he lamented. When asked about the 90% air theory he replied "So are screen doors, and I’m not hitting through them now, either".
Results:
Results:
And the happiest of them all? Pat . . . able to make a season record number of coffees!
"crotchetyism" (we all know how that feels!). Watch out when it all comes together.
Walks was philosophical over a cup of coffee "I just couldn't handle that 11 handicap".
The most relieved person on the course was glad to take the order and the money. Pat finally got to pour three cups of coffee, a far cry from one sausage roll. Walks, Jacko and Macca finally got the after-game coffees underway.
Winter out . . . summer in (apparently) though the chatter of false teeth on the 10th tee was indicative of a chippy morning but without the threat of rain. Everything looked beautifully normal for a GBW summer season . . . the BIG van in its usual spot with its usual driver and the BIG black Hawthorn machine which disgorged the big golfing Hawthorn machine. All-in-all a great start with 8 to contest the Season Opener and, of all people, Jacko in the first group and disappearing post-game with the workers proving that everything wasn't quite beautifully normal after all. But, besides all of that, IT WAS GREAT TO BE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN (with a couple more to come) as Macca painlessly extracted the money, Walks tossed his balls and the Great Man swatted away the ceremonial season opening drive.
with two doubles and a triple and an expletive or three. Dalbs was not far behind, having walked to the 17th tee thinking "Mmmm . . . 14 points. I'm happy with that". What followed was not pretty and involved some closing petulance after which he walked off the 18th green thinking "Why am I still on 14 points?". Mighty Macca has been nurse and chief cook and bottle washer lately and it's been pretty tiring. But he's not using that as an excuse. His fine Collier Park form temporarily deserted him today but he'll be back swinging next week. . . .  ©
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